F*** I hate Farnsie. How that man has leeched the culture out of this country. It wasn’t always this way. I mean, “You’re the Voice” was a wake-up call for Australia. It featured bagpipes – a la “It’s a long way …” and “Under the Milky Way ..” – and I have to admit the handclaps still give me goosebumps. But Whispering Jack aside, the man has given birth to some real donkeys over the years. The worst of these was the so-called LAST TIME tour, sponsored by Tesltra I think, which occurredlast year. Anyone with two eyes has now seen the posters of Farnsie and a goatie-wearing Tom Jones (don’t get me started), and it seems as if the tour has tweaked a few noses. So much so that one of the Voice’s “fans” took him to the ACCC – and they found that advertising a tour as your final tour and then doing another one anyway is not misleading. And I quote: “‘Dame Nellie Melba … went on doing farewells for years,’ [an ACCC spokewoman] said. ‘The point being that one of the things we have to examine is consumer detriment and what is the consumer detriment? The consumer detriment is that he [Farnham] is now available to some of his fans at smaller venues.'” Read that last sentence again. May I suggest a re-wording? THE CONSUMER DETRIMENT IS THAT WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ALL OF THESE F***ING POSTERS OF FARNSIE AND TOM JONES WITH A GOATIE, PLUS THE TV ADS AND THE CONCERTS THEMSELVES, WHICH MAY END UP CONSTITUTING CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY DUE TO THE APPALLING NATURE OF FARNSIE’S HAIR, WARDROBE, VOICE, MICROPHONE, BACK CATALOGUE, BAND AND RIDER. F*** YOU FARNHAM. YOU SAID THE LAST TIME WAS YOUR LAST TIME. AND NOW YOU’RE DOING IT AL OVER A-F***ING-GAIN! Thank you.