Davey declares Scaramouche “dead” after altercation with animal rights protesters

In an apparent attempt to rid himself of the controversy that has plagued him ever since he made the mistake of saying he enjoyed watching the US sitcom “Alf”, Davey Dreamnation has declared his former best friend and interpreter “dead” in an official Camp Davey ceremony.

“Well, the fact is that he’s sick of this whole Scaramouche thing. If you want to know the truth, the freaking llama wasn’t even real. It was a stuffed toy. And real llamas don’t sing, or have orange pelts,” seethed Tori Amos (no relation), Davey’s latest interpreter.

The news is sure to confuse fans of Davey’s comments system, who have become involved in an elaborate ruse whereby they take turns pretending to be the stuffed animal, in the hope that he may one day return to Camp Davey.

“Hee hee!” was all Ms Amos had to say, before being taken back inside the Camp Davey compound.