Clearly speaking from a payphone in an airport departure lounge, the interpreter said, “Davey Dreamnation and the Abbatoir will be heading up north for a bit of meat and three veg. I suspect they’ll carve up the carcass of the live Darwin music scene, following a quick and painless bolt to the brain. They’ll be offering some choice cuts, and hopefully not hit more than a couple of snags. That’s all the meat puns I can think of. Now if you’ll excuse me, my plane – erm, mother is calling me. Coming, mum!”
The shock revelations (which Davey’s new record company, DNRC could neitehr confirm or deny) are sure to add to the pressure on ex-Spirit Levels bandmates Jo Bailey and Julia Ormond, who are apparently still picking up the pieces from the band’s shock Tasmanian combustion. “We’re still picking up the pieces from the band’s shock Tasmanian combustion,” confirmed Bailey late yesterday, “apparently.”
Supposed Sprite Levels tour manager, O.N. Da Levelle, could only laugh yesterday when asked what he thought of the musical prowess of The Abbatoir. “Ha ha,” he later added.
In other news, the proprietors of the Darwin Sizzler have annouced a second special matinee appearance by Davey Dreamnation and the Abbatoir, in response to the first Sizzler gig being sold out. “We’ve extended our lunchtime ‘band and barbecue meat lovers deal’ to include the two hours before Davey’s first concert, thus allowing him to slot in another set in between courses,” a spokesman for Sizzler confirmed this morning.
Meanwhile, Darwin police could neither confirm nor deny rumours that the phone booth outside the Darwin GPO had been cordoned off in expectation of massive crowds next Monday.
“We can confirm, however, that the so-called support bands for this gig do not actually exist,” said Constable Telstra, adding that he did not believe Darwin residents would turn out in very large numbers for Davey’s outdoor concert, what with the Screaming Jets due to arrive “in about a year or two.”