In the clearest sign yet that he is planning on trading in his zoot suit for a mortar board, Davey Dreamnation today announced his intention to provide the Australian government with “top quality and highly useful security research”.
Unveiling the research as part of a broad-sweeping response to the Howard government’s recently-announced higher education research priorities, Mr. Dreamnation’s spokesperson signalled that his security research will involve an undisclosed number of penguins.
“That is correct,” Mr. Scaramouche replied in answer to at least one set of raised eyebrows outside the Camp Davey media centre this afternoon (Majorca time). “The penguins are to be fitted with hi-tech surveillance equipment and launched into the ocean, where their movements and conversations will be recorded and remixed. Mr Dreamnation then intends to release a CD version of these sounds, the profits from which will increase his overall financial security and, by extension, the security of the whole world.”
When asked whether there was any real point to the research, the llama was reported to have hidden inside a giant vat of cherry marmalade, refusing to surface until the assembled throng of reporters gave up and went home.