After two years of hard slog, outrageous fortune, sharp barbs and three-cornered jacks, Davey Dreamnation is said to be considering his future in the music biz. Just minutes after landing the Number 1 spot on mp3.com.au he was heard to mutter: “Well, it’s not fair to the kids, is it? I mean, I just waltz in there, hit number 1 then disappear. It can’t be good for cricket.” The deluded pop nut is reported to be considering his options, including writing his memoirs, retiring for a few years, retiring altogether, selling his famous signature guitar, moving into acting, performing unplugged, performing nude, not performing, performing only occasionally, moving to another genre, becoming an interpretative dancer, becoming a vegetarian or just writing more songs. “Obviously, it’s a difficult time for me. Despite all the efforts I put into Recognition of Prior Learning, I just don’t think I’ve brought the fans along with me. I might as well be making milkshakes. Former pop stars including Sting, Chris de Burgh, Nik Kershaw, Lamahl, Milli, The Wonder Stuff, Tears For Fears, Bruce Hornsby and the Range, Black, Punky Brewster, Ned’s Atomic Arsehole, Slowdive, Ride, Pixies, The Waterboys and N*Sync are reported to be quite relieved that Dreamnation will no longer be pulling on the signature jarmies. “He may have one more trick up his sleeve, however,” cautioned an understandably nervous Alf from Home and Away, “I hear Davey’s recorded a swansong EP and it’s a killer man, killer.”
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