Wiping tears from his strained face, Davey’s interpreter and new guitar player Scaramouche confirmed that proceedings had been wrapped up at about 3.30 this afternoon, Majorca time.
“Would any of you guys have a smoke?” he later asked one bemused hack.
Meanwhile, Davey’s personal fortunes are as ever on the rise, with the lastest mp3.com.au rankings proving that his switch of genre from “alternative” to “shoegazer” is finally paying off. He sits at #3 on the shoegazer charts tonight, out of a total field of eight (8) contenders. As expected, Davey’s rankings in the “overall” and “alternative” rankings have now plummeted horrifically, where he is now placed an abysmal #1004th and #273rd respectively.
“This only goes to prove Davey’s theorem that the charts are rigged,” Scaramouche snapped in response to the inevitable snickers from the assembled press corps.
“In the month of July, Davey’s songs were downloaded or streamed an incredible 103 times. This is positive intelligence for a man who was told by his previous innterpreter, Ms Pixel Mouse, that he had only two fans and that both of them lived in Launceston. Look at the scoreboard, my friends. The stats. That’s what matters.”
Ms Pixel Mouse was unavailable for comment today, having left this afternoon for Bali, to accompany her new husband Stung on his Kuta tour.