Category: Davey Dreamnation (page 18 of 31)

A no-fly zone was enforced over the Camp Davey compound last night as preparations were made for Davey’s descent into his custom-built recording studio, where he will begin work on the follow-up to his sensational and blistering debut album, Islands In the Stream of Consciousness.

“I’m not sure what he’s thinking of calling it – as ever, people are pretty tight-lipped around here. But I suspect the new title may be quite similar to the last one – I’m betting on Islands In the Steam of Incendiary Showers,” stated the artist’s pet llama and confidante, Scaramouche. “But don’t quote me on that.”

Speaking on the condition of a rolling supply of neenish tarts, the plump animal refused to speculate on the style of music Davey will employ on the album.

“No, I prefer the chocolate ones. How would I know? I think he’ll try and sneak my theme song on there [“Scaramouche’s Theme”, featuring the llama himself on vocals] as a way of saying thanks for all the support I’ve given him over the past twelve months. I’m also looking forward to finally gaining my own web site. Davey tells me the boffins are working on it now.”

Camp Davey erupted this morning after it was learnt that the NME has apparently rejected a request from the troubled artist to stop the war in Iraq.

“Look, I don’t know who you are or what camp you belong to,” snapped a harried-sounding NME staffer via telephone from London, “but there’s a war going on, in case you hadn’t logged in. And frankly, such serious issues far out-weigh any concerns I might have about rejecting this so-called “rock star” and his pathetic – no, freak it: AMATEUR attempt at a live review. Of Massive Attack, for freak’s sake – Massive Attack. Davey Dreamnation doesn’t give a damn about the war in Iraq. Now, grow up.”

An official Davey Dreamnation press conference is being planned for tomorrow morning (Majorca time) but it is rumoured that no less than eight elder statesmen of 1980s rock and beyond will perform in support of Davey’s cause(s).

“That’s right,” bleated an obviously out-of-sorts Scaramouche this afternoon outside the entrance to his neatly-swept enclosure, “Sir Nik Kershaw, Sir Mark Knopfler, Sirs Tears For Fears and Sir Spandau Ballet will be in the escort party, but as for those in attendance this evening, that’ll cost you five jars of marmalade.”

Sources a little closer to Davey along the food chain suggest that Davey is in the midst of a protracted battle with his demons.

“It’s like my blue turtles,” mused Stung, just yards away from the scene of “one of the most amazing outbursts of personal invective I’ve ever heard. No – witnessed. No – not witnessed, endured. That’s it. I mean, the symptoms, the repercussions, the angst – I’ve seen it all before. It’s hell, no doubting that. But I came through it, and so can Davey.”

When asked to confirm whether Davey’s rumoured “incendiary” new single may in fact be a rap anthem, Stung (and the llama) scurried back inside the electrified Camp Davey compound, refusing to accept even one clinker.

Camp Davey was in pandemonium mode today after the first night of what sources close to the megalomaniacal star describe as “a four night bash to outdo Russell Crowe’s wedding.”

Having brought in armed police to calm the massive crowds outside the Camp Davey gates, camp administrator Pixel Mouse ordered the use of lemonade cannons.

“It’s freaking hot in here, so take off all your bootlegging devices,” Ms. Mouse sang to the assembled fans.

“You heard me – this is not Live At Budokan, so don’t even think about pressing record on that huge dictaphone you’ve got bulging out of your back pocket there, mister. Okay, hands up.”

Having confirmed that pop hand-throb Stung will be in attendance, Davey Dreamnation went on to list all the stars who pulled out of Russell Crowe’s wedding just to be at Camp Davey for last night’s opening ceremony, involving a parade of singing llamas in traditional costume(s).

“Sir Nik Kershaw, Sir Howard Jones, Sir Simon le Bon, Sir the other guy from Arcadia, Sir Gangajang, Sir the Electric Pandas and Sir Kate Ceberano are all thrilled to bits just being here. I think by Day 4, however, they will be wishing they were in the Coffs Harbour Novotel.

“I know I wish I was, right now. Harrumph!”

Signalling that he is champing at the bit to re-install a more democratic comments system on his site, Davey Dreamnation has taken the drastic step of discontinuing the use of his name in blog headlines.

“I think it’s all part of an attempt to make this crummy site look less home-made. Hats off to him, he’s doing an incredible job so far,” mused Scaramouche after being shown the woeful “pals” page.

“The funny thing is, he can say what he wants at the moment, because no one can answer him back. I know that’s got a few people seething, and perhaps they won’t come back. Maybe Davey’s mada a tactical error but who am i to judge? I mean, he could kill me off tomorrow. I have no control over my own fate. I’ve already been killed off once, for freak’s sake.”