More deja vu: [d/dn] chart position rises like the Titanic

Just moments after slagging off the folks at mp3.com.au, Davey Dreamnation was hit by a piece of news flying at him through the air: fans have begun to download his music in droves. Statistics, while ever meaningless, suggest that Davey’s popularity, seemingly on the wane until this point, is beginning to pick up again. The demented artist and former Spirit Levels member has jumped from a neither-here-nor-there 38 on the Lo-Fi charts to the interstellar (and incendiary) position of #8. “I’m getting that Buffalo feeling again,” said Scaramouche upon receiving the news. “This could be very serious indeed. Recognition of Prior Learning hasn’t even come out yet. I feel sorry for the artists who have to compete with Davey at the moment. He’s unstoppable.” Leading the charge, incredibly, is “Boost Bass, Free Quincey”, a track that was deemed unfit for release a year ago, and which made it onto the mp3.com.au site only by accident. The quirky track, featuring Scaramouche on linoleum, has been streamed an amazing 31 times in the past two weeks. Perhaps more importantly, “Boost Bass, Free Quincey” has only been actually downloaded once, which in a way confirms its status as a hastily-cobbled together sham. “Not my words, but if you say so yes – it’s complete crap,” Stung agreed readily when it was put to him that Davey Dreamnation’s success has been completely coincidental. “But I’m happy to eat my words should Davey’s chart position rise any higher than #8. I mean, eighth, that’s not really all that good. Hell, even I came eighth at my primary school swimming carnival. Anyone can do that.”