Dream Team

Atomic Lady Bomb (3)
In the back pocket position this week, and showing signs of relishing the position, EZB makes three important contributions at timely moments of the match. Number of possessions shown here does not truly represent overall contribution, which has energised the entire backline.

Davey Dreamnation: the Home Page of David Prater (10)
In the opposite back pocket we see Dreamnation cementing his overall reputation for boundary line control, in awesome support of fullback and half back flankers alike. Bold and courageous – okay, steady on.

the deletions (7)
Pam Brown’s contribution has been understated but effective since the switch to halfback flank, and with seven posessions this time round, is sure to make the starting eighteen in the upcoming finals season. A force not to be deleted with lightly.

EYEWEAR (36)
A true force at centre half back, Todd Swift proves once again that day in day out he’s the team’s best long punt, and its safest pair of hands in defence. Rumoured to be polling strongly in his private fan club’s Brownlow tipping contest.

FreakyTrigger (61)
First choice in last year’s draft has paid dividends in spades with Trigger’s continuing and brooding presence at full back. Some backroom strappers have suggested Trigger as a starting back in any future International Rules fixture.

I Ate a Bee (2)
Returning fresh from injury, after a freak golfing accident on last year’s end of season trip to Majorca, Hot Soup Girl racks up two important possessions, one of them involving a strawberry crumble. All round legend at left half back flank.

In the roving department, we encounter a strange anomaly in the stats and player profiles. Regular posters Juan and Ziggy O’Shea (0) record no possessions whatsoever, while in truth their contribution in fallout from the centre marks, in broken play and with aggressive clearances, these two deserve a special commendation.

However the stats are all we need to go on when assessing the contribution of the all-important wing positions, wherein we find two legends of the game, perhaps now contemplating retiurement after their tragic performances here. I’m speaking of those two former greats Ladycrackerland (0) (who has evidently taken a gamble by signing up with the Myspace league, and whose mind is clearly not on the game) and Sean M Whelan (0) (whose rumoured signing to a Singapore-based Champions League has left him without friends on the Club’s Board of Management). Only time will tell whether LITNH will see out his contract until the end of the playing season.

MAN ABOUT TOWN (31)
At six feet eight in height, ruckman Richard Watts towers over most opponents and is a formidable force in the centre bounce. Thriving on big match situations and crucial moments, Watts proves once again several old adages about grandmothers being taught to suck eggs.

Melbourne, Australia (8..15C) (1) (Interchange)
Melbourne can expect a fine though partly cloudy day with freshening south to south easterly winds with a top temperature of fifteen degrees. Right now in the city, it’s eight. News coming up shortly.

Monkey Punch Dinosaur! (5)
At half forward flank Adam Ford settles into a consolidating period, after the pandemonium and frenzied activity of his pre-season performances. May well need a spell on the ball in future games, if Whelan fails to ingite during loose play.

nthposition (22)
The wisdom of signing Todd Swift at centre half back but with a roving remit during slower periods of the match paid off handsomely for the team coaching staff, with a rejuvenated Swift moving to the all-important position of centre half forward for the second quarter of the match.

Ruby Street (7)
Another fresh return from injury, Jill Jones has proven to be a demon at right half forward flank. Deadly accurate in the short passing department, Jones ably assists the forwards with drill-precision hand balling.

Silliman’s Blog (32)
Justifying his rumoured eight figure contract, Ron Silliman adjusts with increasing freneticism to the demands of the Australian game, despite some well known tics in technique due to his gridiron background. Thirty two possessions for a right forward pocket is just unbelievable at this level.

Stoning the Devil (36)
Another star USA import, Adam Fieled has been electrifying during recent matches in his accustomed full forward position, and looks set to dominate contests in and around the ruck as well.

TypingSpace (20)
With a commanding lead in the Club’s Best and Fairest tally, and seemingly cruising on air during the final moments of the third quarter, Derek Motion set the boundary lines alight with his display of equal parts cameo and virtuoso, stealing seven goals from the hapless opposition in the incendiary final quarter. Another star forward pocket.