Hi. Davey Dreamnation here, aka Les Fauves.

The last time I appeared on the Fauves Are the Best People podcast, Jon and I were discussing the Fauves’ contributions to the Dress Ups EP, which was released back in 1992.

At that time, the Fauves would probably have been described as an obscure act, unless you were a fan, in which case they were huge. I thought they were huge. I was a huge fan.

But by 1996 there was no arguing with the fact that the Fauves had finally also become huge in the eyes and ears of the general listening public. Future Spa was an epic, sprawling, balls to the wall, riff-heavy album, chokers with tight playing, deadpan humour and emotional subtlety. I loved it when it came out, and still think it’s one of the best records they’ve ever released.

My only real problem with Future Spa is “Dogs Are the Best People”.

I just … don’t like it?

I know, I’m supposed to say this one’s great. It’s a fan favourite, like, c’mon man, what do you have against it? Like, it’s about dogs and stuff, man. There’s that line about his little chocolate eyes. How could you not like that? What’s wrong with you, anyway?

I’ll give you what’s wrong with me in a minute.

You see, by the time “Dogs” came out, I’d invested six years of my adult life in the Fauves. I’d been there for This Mood Has Passed. I’d tolerated, barely, the excesses of Drive Through Charisma. I’d even sung along to cheerful tracks like “Man Lessons”, “Glitter Us” and “Let Me Be Your Toilet” at some of their early, poorly attended gigs. I knew all the words to “Brotherhood Bin”. I mean, that’s a tough ask for any fan.

In short, I’d done the time when nobody else I knew gave a stuff about the Fauves. 

But then, all of a sudden, “Dogs” came along, got some Triple J airplay and even my mum was admitting she liked it. It was too much. I mean, if “Self-Abuser” was an unmitigated onanistic triumph, “Dogs” was a hastily cobbled together balls-up, with no discernible melody, a lead guitar line that sounds like a kazoo, clattering drums gamely trying to keep the whole thing together and, yeah, lyrics about a dog.

Like, so what?

Personally, I prefer The Fauves of “People Hater” [a long-forgotten track from their ominously titled b-sides bonus disc compilation, 22 Reasons Why A Band Shouldn’t Put An Album Out In Its First Few Years], even though “Dogs” is obviously a much better song.

Maybe I should write a song of my own, call it “Dogs are the Best People Hater”. Send it in to Triple J. Maybe that’d make me feel better, for a minute at least.

But you know, I can’t possibly begrudge the Fauves their 2:47 of fame. They bloody well deserved it. And if that fame came on the back of a song about dogs and churches that rhymes steeple with people, then so be it. 

Anyway, I’m off to listen to “Hey, It’s Only My Virile Suit”.

Catch youse later.

Les Fauves, out. 

This is the text version of my cameo contribution to Episode 86 of Fauves Are the Best People, which you can listen to on Spotify (see below) or wherever you get your podcasts.