This is getting really silly – Roger Federer Cosmetics:

“The fascinating new fragrance for men who know what they want. FEEL THE TOUCH! Feel the unique touch of the new, elegantly sporty fragrance from Roger Federer! Experience the amazingly radiant and fresh top note of citrus chords and ozone elements. Essential oils and herbal nuances, blended with a hint of green tea, accent the natural character of the fragrance. Transparent floral themes, noble woody notes and sensuous ambergris tones create a lingering background to round off an unmistakable, sophisticated fragrance image.”

FEEL THE TOUCH? But wait, there’s more: RF After-shave balm, the mild balm for strong men;

“Its mild, highest-quality ingredients make it an outstanding aftershave to pamper your skin. Calms and soothes irritated and overheated facial skin. The refreshing effect helps competitive athletes and everyone else keep a cool head in any situation. Soothes and moisturizes. Contains no alcohol.”

THAT PARTLY EXPLAINS WHY RF IS SO BORING.

RF Body Wash: The ‘freshness kick’ for cool men.

“The invigorating body wash with the ultimate cooling effect. Banishes fatigue after intense competitive sports, hard training or a tiring day. Use it in the morning to feel fresh, fit and ready for any challenge a whole day long. Finest-quality ingredients nurture and nourish your skin for a long-lasting effect after showering. You’ll love the indescribably stimulating effect on your skin.”

RF mustn’t wear this one very often!!

RF Deodorant: The reliable deodorant for men who love a challenge.

“The ultimate deodorant made with highly effective, mild ingredients. Protects and freshens thanks to active deodorant ingredients combined with a sporty, tangy fragrance. Feel confident and cool a whole day long. Contains no alcohol.”

The RF shit: For the man who is full of it.

“This effervescent shit can be inserted in any orifice, containing not less than 100% pure shit, glow-in-the-dark or deep brown …”