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All right, all right!
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1 min read
So what if this page looks like a car crash at the moment. Luckily nobody’s particularly interested in my blog just yet, so I can for now get away with this really bad design. By the way, this photo of me was taken by my friend Quinton at an Internet cafe in Melbourne, where we…
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the happy farang
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1 min read
hello!—i am so happy to be a farang in your country relieved to discover this word that describes me & pleased to be here spending all my money on trinkets & going to the toilet—hooray! now even my shit is farang! a foreign body yearning to be assimilated! get out of thailand i say to…
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monk lovers
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1 min read
she loved me for a matter of seconds but her affair with the monks promises to be a lifelong obsession hey that hurts— right there doc can you lance jab pop it cut it out? look at this it’s a postcard she sent me—monks! you think that’s trivial? wait till you see the photos! monks…
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bangkok: city of angles
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1 min read
timpani crash /tuk-tuk caged verandah /air-con little bells /squid vendor fecund waterway /chao phraya police helmet /city intersection pollution viaduct /sky train hardware section /chinatown pirate tape stand /thanon khao san shining stupa /urban wat
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thomas pynchon & the art of anonymity maintenence
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1 min read
the choice of sunglasses is impor-tant but on the maple leaf? ray-bans are out too miami vice … beatle specs no dead giveaway (tint in sunlight) chem-mart? anonymous average ok collared shirt i’d prefer a gaudy hunter s. thompson hawaiian no. but beige is a city colour camouflage same with pants & as for loafers?…
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cities on the move
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1 min read
it is the year 2542 BE – in bangkok the streets are flooded with people 543 years in advance of the western world but only 7 hours ahead of GMT – in the meantime football grips the nation & entropy invades every available thanon & soi art flourishes in the city moving slowly north towards…
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Tuk-tuk
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1 min read
life – cough-cough go-go fast-fast slow-slow break-break flow-flow honk-honk hel-lo where-you go-go tuk-tuk hi-ho same-same no-no thao-rai cheap-cheap silk-silk wat-wat guess-so o-kay go-go gem-shop strip-show no-no go-slow wait-wait oh-ho go-go bang-kok tuk-tuk cough-cough stop-go one-two i-know left-left no-no go-go tuk-tuk cough-cough khao-san face-mask whiz-whiz cough-cough poi-son cough-cough tuk-tuk cough-cough go-go same-same don’t-stop cough-cough car-fume tuk-tuk…
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the postman of kowloon
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1 min read
given the unenviable task of delivering mail in a cantonese walled city charged with entropy & chaos criss-crossing its aerial corridors conduits they call them linked towers that change positions days how the garbage piles up forming strata to be studied by future archaeologists – he can never decipher the old city’s next move &…
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Non-Touristic Trek
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1 min read
COME & SEE THE HILL TRIBES PLOUGHING UP THEIR OPIUM FIELDS IN PREPARATION FOR NEXT YEAR’S CROP OF NESCAFE! THIS TREK HAS BEEN APPROVED BY BOTH THE THAI & US GOVERNMENTS ALONG WITH JOINT MILITARY EXERCISES IT WILL CONSTITUTE THE MAIN THRUST OF THEIR WAR AGAINST DRUGS NO RAFTING ELEPHANT HIKING OR SOUVENIR-SHOPPING EXPERIENCE REQUIRED…
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The Chao Le
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1 min read
housed in two human zoos constructed for their survival’s sake on the east & west coasts of koh lantah it’s good to know that the chao le are still allowed to play football on the beach at low-tide its wave sounds mimic the crowd-roars of wembley coming down the supermarine cable all the young men…
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Takraw Monkey
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1 min read
my name is mud as in good i help you with thai translation i am monkey & i am crazy good at takraw & at takraw kicks—do you see me where i practice? yes? at the beach with a ball of flotsam-styrofoam & a piece of string tied to a tree so i can kick…
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Oh Blossom
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1 min read
come here blossom fall down here on my lap & let me run my fingers through your delicate pink petals the way you used to like it in spring- time when you were all in bloom oh blossom remember every season is another reason to love you tender blossom come on back over here don’t…
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Mountains of Pai
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1 min read
pai bursting through the fog to fly in low across the rice paddies dumping its deadly load & setting the pond a-tremble with aftershocks the size of frogs now skipping the mountains of pai untold numbers of karen separatists pray fervently for a rain cloud to carpet bomb the ponds of burma we saw one…
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Mr Tui
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1 min read
mr tui you’d have to win the “safest driver in thailand” award you were a man of few words but smooth driving actions eg your easy familiarity with the nine hundred & forty two sharp corners between chiang mai & pai mr tui you knew when to sound your horn around a hairpin bend when…
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Emaciated Buddha
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1 min read
fireworks rupture the temple on the hill’s serenity the interior’s panorama suffocated by a buddhist vision of hell flavoured with more than a dash of hindu horror – here’s a massacre of men & women sawn in half by grinning & willing fellow men & women here’s old buddha himself count his ribs this is…