our first date – what a write-off!
i even bought you flowers – you
selfish man! you could have told
me you’d double-booked – hell!
million-booked more like it boy
you had a nerve making all of us
line up like school-kids in our
uniforms hand in hand boys &
girls two by two round & round
the square for hours on end! as
my two red flowers wilted in the
spring sunshine i practised my
lines – i’d been rehearsing them
for weeks – no – years! oh you
heartless man! as i walked up
the steps i couldn’t stop myself
from grinning like a young man
in love – how wrong i was! we
were ushered into the first of
several chambers & i placed my
offering my bouquet amongst
the thousands of other bouquets
all bought from the same stall
& all destined to return there –
recycling my love wish – what
gall! then came the moment i
had been waiting for – a private
moment – some moment that
was! ha! i didn’t even get a look
in did i? frog-marched past your
bed with nary a chance to utter
sweet nothings or love poems –
oh yes i’d written you a poem
or two – don’t try and deny the
connection we once – once! –
had – pitiless man! man with a
glowing orange face! was that
a hint of embarrassment or was
it shame? i hope so but won’t die
hoping you remembered me at
all – eyes closed as if trying to
ignore me – i mean, please! at
least make some kind of effort
some kind of attempt at being
interested in what i might have
to say – what i’m feeling! that’s
right – i still feel something –
though it’s complicated now by
the obvious rejection that you
tailor-made for me – oh have a
heart! or did they cut that out
the instant you passed from
fanzine pin-up status to icon?
well i didn’t bother purchasing
anything from your crummy
gift shop thinking of all those
hearts you’ve broken – i mean
shattered! including this one –
this lonely miserable rejected
heart of mine won’t stand for
much more of your philandering
ways – your smug i’m-going-to-
pretend-i’m-asleep palaver –
just give it a rest okay? oh &
while we’re on the subject you
owe me three Y for the flowers
creep – you’ve got my account
details – so transfer the freaking
money slime ball – don’t make
me come back – you know what
happened last time – & i’m sure
neither of us want a repeat of
that tragic scene – so i guess
this is our last goodbye – such
a short journey from ni hao to
bye bye – well ha! bye bye mao!†