The day I got the braces put on my face
was not the happiest day of my life, to be
perfectly honest. In fact, it was horrible. 
The weather was wild and windy, and the 
procedure took about four hours. I’d be 
lying if I said it didn’t hurt. It hurt like hell.
Once they started though, I couldn’t pull
out. I couldn’t even speak. That was part
of the problem. The other part was that 
if I pulled out halfway through, I’d still have
all these bits of metal stuck to my teeth
that I couldn’t get off. Not a good look, as 
I’m sure you can imagine. Braces aren’t the
coolest look in the world either. Three years 
later I got those braces taken off. Ah, there 
goes my holiday apartment on the Gold Coast 
mum said each time I flashed that smile at 
her. Gee that felt great; in fact I felt just like 
the ugly duckling that turned into a swan --
only swans don’t have teeth

		and neither do ducks.