Here’s a picture of me and the gang – during rehearsals for Cats. Enjoy.
Author: Pixel Mouse (page 1 of 2)
Josi! You are luscious! I watch you every week on Chartbusting Eighties just because you are so luscious. You make me want to slur my words and say eighdies. I feel fat in my Tears For Fears outfits, especially this gigantic panda jumper but I don’t care because I want to shout, pout and let other stuff out of my body at the same time. There is a beach I walk along each morning. In the top right hand corner of the inside of my mirrorshade Le Specs I’ve got a little pop-up window set to play continuous CB80s re-runs. I am too shy to participate in the CB80s audience. Did I mention the beach I walk along in my greatcoat and tight-fitting black boots. Josi, you are so rude to your audience members. That makes me excited. I refuse to communicate with you via email. The despicably ugly film clips from our deadbeat generation onyl serve to make you look attractive. Please tell the goons in the studio to desist with the smoke machine. It distracts my eye from its contemplation of you. Yes, I have only one eye. It is located in the middle of my forehead. I do not require an eyepatch, as I am blessed with several bandannas and a rather girlish quiff. Walking along the ebach in a greatcoat and boots can be hard, especially now that my Walkman is broken, and the elastic band holding my headphones together has also broken. Everybody wants to rule your world, Josi, except me. I want to rool with you. The two of us, together, in a film clip with no name. Exasperating the studio hacks with our cut-up trickery, our mirrorshades, our bike pant flower arrangements, our ineffable badness, weirdness. Let’s write songs from the big chair of your lap, you on keyboards, me on bass, some NMIT music student on guitar, production by Bros. Hair by Brian. Let us buy a house in Reservoir, and coat the walls with L.P. covers, forge a path to the Hills Hoist out of vinyl 12″ circles, leave complimentary head cleaners in the bathroom for our guests. I will draw George Michael stubble on my cheeks, bleach my teeth “Choose LIfe” white. I love raging and long walks on the beach. I love your teasing manner and your generous bust. I see you in the top left hand corner of my heart, standing still as the video recorder runs through its paces, taping over all my old sitcom flames, erasing the sevendies, the ninedies, the naughdies. Only eighdies remain. Chartbusting eighdies. Heartbusting eighdies. Pantbusting eighdies. Josi!
The fingerprints of Clint Bo Dean are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
There are more than two hundred different kinds of Clint Bo Dean.
Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and Clint Bo Dean has 7.
While performing her duties as queen, Cleopatra sometimes dressed up as Clint Bo Dean.
In 1982 Time Magazine named Clint Bo Dean its ‘Man of the Year’.
Until the 1960s, Clint Bo Dean was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Clint Bo Dean.
If a snake is born with two heads, the heads will fight over who gets Clint Bo Dean!
Clint Bo Dean has four noses.
The condom – originally made from Clint Bo Dean – was invented in the early 1500s.
Come ere, your uncle Clint wants to say something to ya. This is a heads up, okay, and I’m not gunna repeat anything so this is thinking time, right? Right. Shoulders back. Heads up, backs straight. Knees pressed together, shoelaces tied separately. Eyes open, mouth shut. Pencils down, balloons up. Please use graph paper for all notes. Clag has been dispensed. Today’s tuckshop menu has been cancelled. Complimentary apricot delights will be administered prior to your polio injections. Girls, boys. Attention, please. This will only take a moment. Why are you not wearing your sports uniform? I’m not interested in whether you got dacked at the school assembly or not. It serves you right for wearing leopard print underpants to school in the first place. The silkworm experiment has been declared a complete failure. As an alternative, you will all be involved in the painting of a large-scale mural on the side of the Myer building. Most of our work will be done under cover of darkness. I’m sure you know why that is, so don’t ask. That’s called rhetoric. We don’t have time to explore the many levels of irony today, children. Please turn to page (x) of whatever John Marsden book we’re reading at the moment. Yes, that one will do. Right. It’s time for a bit of U.S.S.R. Not a peep out of any of you for a good half-hour. All right, you can go to the bubblers. Walk, please. That’s not good enough, you’ll have to wait. I don’t know. What? Yes, that’s right, what he said. Books open please. Mouths shut. Where are you going? No, no, no. Detention is this afternoon. We’ll be there for as long as it takes. I don’t have anything better to do.