Category: The Happy Farang (page 2 of 5)

The Happy Farang is the name of a chapbook I wrote and published at the beginning of the 21st century, signalling my entry into the self-publishing hall of fame.

25 January 2000 / 0 Comments

Tuk-tuk

life -
cough-cough go-go fast-fast slow-slow
break-break flow-flow honk-honk hel-lo
where-you go-go tuk-tuk hi-ho
same-same no-no thao-rai cheap-cheap
silk-silk wat-wat guess-so o-kay
go-go gem-shop strip-show no-no
go-slow wait-wait oh-ho go-go
bang-kok tuk-tuk cough-cough stop-go
one-two i-know left-left no-no
go-go tuk-tuk cough-cough khao-san
face-mask whiz-whiz cough-cough poi-son
cough-cough tuk-tuk cough-cough go-go
same-same don't-stop cough-cough car-fume
tuk-tuk cough-cough cough-cough tuk-tuk
- death
24 January 2000 / 0 Comments

the postman of kowloon

given the unenviable task of delivering
mail in a cantonese walled city charged
with entropy & chaos criss-crossing its
aerial corridors conduits they call them
linked towers that change positions days
how the garbage piles up forming strata
to be studied by future archaeologists -

he can never decipher the old city's next
move & remains astounded by the most
innocuous envelope's habit of finding a
home scratching out addresses or the
deceased another day a map to discard

notice how randomness thrives within
the most carefully chosen boundaries
23 January 2000 / 0 Comments

Non-Touristic Trek

COME & SEE THE HILL TRIBES PLOUGHING
UP THEIR OPIUM FIELDS IN PREPARATION
FOR NEXT YEAR’S CROP OF NESCAFE! THIS
TREK HAS BEEN APPROVED BY BOTH THE THAI
& US GOVERNMENTS ALONG WITH JOINT
MILITARY EXERCISES IT WILL CONSTITUTE
THE MAIN THRUST OF THEIR WAR AGAINST
DRUGS NO RAFTING ELEPHANT HIKING OR
SOUVENIR-SHOPPING EXPERIENCE REQUIRED
JUST A WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT THIS ONCE
IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY TO JOIN A NON-
TOURISTIC TREK I REPEAT THERE WILL BE ONE
TREK ONLY – AFTERWARDS THE ENTIRE REGION
WILL BE DECLARED “FREQUENTED BY TOURISTS”
& CLOSED TO ALL NON-TOURISTIC ACTIVITIES
THUS CAUSING A MASSIVE RISE IN BOTH PRICES
& TOURIST NUMBERS HURRY THIS IS YOUR LAST
CHANCE TO SEE UNTOUCHED & AUTHENTIC HILL
TRIBES IN THEIR NATURAL ENVIRONMENT!
REPEAT: ONE TREK ONLY! ENQUIRE WITHIN!
CREDIT CARDS WELCOME!
22 January 2000 / 0 Comments

The Chao Le

housed in two human zoos constructed
for their survival’s sake on the east &
west coasts of koh lantah it’s good to know
that the chao le are still allowed to play
football on the beach at low-tide its wave
sounds mimic the crowd-roars of wembley
coming down the supermarine cable all
the young men & boys clip their finger &
toenails in preparation for the referee’s
inspection tomorrow they will collect these
clippings & together with various haircut-
offcuts launch their offerings upon the
andaman sea in a special wooden boat after
which they gaze longingly half-hoping the
tide will bring it back knowing also that
some small part of themselves has escaped
both the zoos & the fickle sea-spirits’ protection
21 January 2000 / 0 Comments

Takraw Monkey

my name is mud as in good i help you with
thai translation i am monkey & i am crazy
good at takraw & at takraw kicks—do you
see me where i practice? yes? at the beach
with a ball of flotsam-styrofoam & a piece
of string tied to a tree so i can kick & jump
like a crazy monkey there is no end to my
energy for the game & no one can tell what i
am thinking at any given moment - monkey!
ha! your name? david? david beckham? ha!
football!—takraw!—monkey!—you think i'm
crazy? i am mud as in good—good at takraw
see you next year you want sprite? 1000 baht!
yes! you want room? 1 million baht! yes! time
to practice again! & off he goes into the innocent
night—relax bay thailand keeping the peace
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This is [d/dn], the home of David Prater, a writer and editor currently living in the third person.

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