hello!—i am so happy to be a farang
in your country relieved to discover
this word that describes me & pleased
to be here spending all my money on
trinkets & going to the toilet—hooray!
now even my shit is farang! a foreign
body yearning to be assimilated! get
out of thailand i say to my ungrateful
excrement leave more room for kfc &
coke i look forward also to depositing
another 500 baht at the airport (also
farang) & can't wait to develop all of
my excellent photos
—bye for now!
Category: The Happy Farang (page 1 of 5)
The Happy Farang is the name of a chapbook I wrote and published at the beginning of the 21st century, signalling my entry into the self-publishing hall of fame.
she loved me for a matter of seconds
but her affair with the monks promises
to be a lifelong obsession hey that hurts—
right there doc can you lance jab pop it
cut it out? look at this it's a postcard
she sent me—monks! you think that's
trivial? wait till you see the photos!
monks on bicycles monks on chao phraya
river express ferry monks carrying food
bowls happy monks monks sitting on the
'reserved for the monk' bench in hualam-
phong railway station monks watching tv
monks patting mutant temple dogs & monks
hanging out—oh to be a monk!
—ouch!
timpani crash /tuk-tuk
caged verandah /air-con
little bells /squid vendor
fecund waterway /chao phraya
police helmet /city intersection
pollution viaduct /sky train
hardware section /chinatown
pirate tape stand /thanon khao san
shining stupa /urban wat
the choice of sunglasses is impor-tant
but on the maple leaf? ray-bans are out
too miami vice ... beatle specs no dead
giveaway (tint in sunlight) chem-mart?
anonymous average ok collared shirt
i'd prefer a gaudy hunter s. thompson
hawaiian no. but beige is a city colour
camouflage same with pants & as for
loafers? i shudder ... afraid so ... dumb
haircut also necessary a weekday's truly
impenetrable disguise thus my surprised
& anxious fury in the bright
––click!
i shouted
fuck you pal! on my way back to Macy's
but on reflection maybe the cheap fucking
sunglasses did give me away after all.
it is the year 2542 BE - in bangkok the streets are flooded with people 543 years in advance of the western world but only 7 hours ahead of GMT - in the meantime football grips the nation & entropy invades every available thanon & soi art flourishes in the city moving slowly north towards this exhibition of student works the highlight of which is a collection of flower pots - the artist encourages me to take one but fearful of customs & strange looks i decline thinking who knows what strange plant might emerge from this soil & what colour flower bloom?