In a victory for animal rights lovers everywhere, Davey Dreamnation has taken out an injunction against his former llama and interpreter Scaramouche, in a move to block the release of “Scaramouche’s Theme” as part of his triumphant return to form, the trail-blazing Recognition of Prior Learning. Tribesco sources have confirmed that the “barnstorming” album is now available, after weeks, nay, years of inactivity on [d/dn]’s once flourishing international web portal. With listener interest increasing exponentially over the past few days, all is set for an exhilirating countdown to the next batch of mp3.com.au download statistics, due Wednesday (Tribesco time). Davey Dreamnation remains quietly confident that his position (currently #8) will rise even more dramatically, now that the album itself has been fully released. “You have to understand that this record was born out of extreme frustration, and there are a great deal of political references in the lyrics of the songs. Which makes it a shame that Davey hasn’t released the lyrics online, as the words in many of these songs are unintelligible. Take “Dim Stars 2″, for example. I have no idea what that’s about at all,” admitted a sad and disconsolate Stung, upon learning that Davey’s new album has risen further on the charts in the last ten seconds than Nothing Like the Stung did in the past two years. “That being said, and despite the woeful recording techniques employed on this release, I salute my good friend and collaborator. He’s finally booted that freaking llama out of the band, which should make it easier for me to score some co-writing credits.” Scaramouche himself confirmed the split, whilst smoking a cigarette outside his tailor made cage, which has now been cleaned out of straw, carrots and quiche lorraine. “It’s very sad but unfortunately, there was no room left on the album for my delightful and melodious theme song. By extension, that means there’s no room left for me here in Tribesco any more either. I am deeply distressed by what has happened in the last 24 minutes. All I can say is, if they’re doing animal research, they should at least make the effort to ask me to sign a consent form. I can speak, after all, and only just recently Stung made me a pen holder which I have attached to my front left hoof, enabling me to sign documents and write down my lyrics and poetry. I guess I’ll have to give it back now. That freaking Sting strap-on says it’s his intellectual property. Sniff. Well, I guess he’s right. Good bye everyone, and thanks for all the ham rolls. No, I couldn’t possibly eat pressed chicken meat, not today.”
Tag: Davey Dreamnation (page 9 of 25)
Never let it be said that Davey Dreamnation fails to live up to expectations. Fans of the reclusive musical genius awoke rejoicing this morning after discovering that nine out of the eleven tracks that comprise the masterstroke that is Recognition of Prior Learning have now been released. Fans of Scaramouche, however, will be disappointed to learn that the talented llama’s theme song remains on the mp3.com.au top shelf, along with another track, “Dim Stars 2”, which was supposed to be released over a year ago. It seems, however, that listeners around the world have not been affected by the album’s protracted gestation and birth in the slightest, choosing instead to download tracks at will. The puzzling popularity of “Boost Bass, Free Quincey” continues unabated, with more than 50 streams of the song having been recorded on the mp3.com.au statistics page in the last three weeks. “It’s not even a song,” admitted Scaramouche this morning, “and yet it’s headed for the top of the charts. Just imagine what’s going to happen when people catch onto the other “songs” on RPL. It’s going to force Davey to re-think his isolationist “lo-fi” categorisation. Frankly, there’s nothing lo-fi about my theme song at all. Its soaring, angelic vocals please me upon even my fifty-first listen, and that’s just today. I’m seething that Davey hasn’t seen fit to release it yet. In fact, I’m considering taking my name and talent elsewhere if he doesn’t hurry up.”
Just moments after slagging off the folks at mp3.com.au, Davey Dreamnation was hit by a piece of news flying at him through the air: fans have begun to download his music in droves. Statistics, while ever meaningless, suggest that Davey’s popularity, seemingly on the wane until this point, is beginning to pick up again. The demented artist and former Spirit Levels member has jumped from a neither-here-nor-there 38 on the Lo-Fi charts to the interstellar (and incendiary) position of #8. “I’m getting that Buffalo feeling again,” said Scaramouche upon receiving the news. “This could be very serious indeed. Recognition of Prior Learning hasn’t even come out yet. I feel sorry for the artists who have to compete with Davey at the moment. He’s unstoppable.” Leading the charge, incredibly, is “Boost Bass, Free Quincey”, a track that was deemed unfit for release a year ago, and which made it onto the mp3.com.au site only by accident. The quirky track, featuring Scaramouche on linoleum, has been streamed an amazing 31 times in the past two weeks. Perhaps more importantly, “Boost Bass, Free Quincey” has only been actually downloaded once, which in a way confirms its status as a hastily-cobbled together sham. “Not my words, but if you say so yes – it’s complete crap,” Stung agreed readily when it was put to him that Davey Dreamnation’s success has been completely coincidental. “But I’m happy to eat my words should Davey’s chart position rise any higher than #8. I mean, eighth, that’s not really all that good. Hell, even I came eighth at my primary school swimming carnival. Anyone can do that.”
It’s a story we’ve all heard before: superstar unveils new album, claims it will be available in a matter of seconds, then spends years retracting said claim, amidst howls of disdain from international commentators, the United Nations, the ACCC and various other hacks. Well, it’s happening all over again. Problems with the uploaded Davey Dreamnation masterpiece Recognition of Prior Learning have meant that the afore-mentioned rock god has been forced to embarrass – nay, humiliate himself on the world stage, for possibly the tenth time. “Yeah, they’re a bunch of amateurs,” confirmed Stung, in reference to the boffins at mp3.com.au, “which means we’re in safe hands. Davey feels really comfortable with their level of commitment to his album, because he’s never experienced anything but amateurism in the past – so what’s new?” This puzzling outburst, which follows a string of similar nonsensical statements from the obviously deranged Sting impersonator, demonstrate the extent to which the down vibe has infected the technicians, llama wranglers and mince pie manufacturers currently holed up inside the Tribesco compound. “I’ve got nothing further to say,” Scaramouche managed to communicate in Auslan, while his mouth was full of Neenish tarts and other assorted pieces of junk food, “but I think everyone recognises this international symbol.” The llama’s raised cloven hoof, however, could mean several things, none of which it would be advisable to speculate upon, ever.
Yes fans, it’s merely milliseconds away – the release of Davey Dreamnation’s long-wondered-about sophomore album, Recognition of Prior Learning. “Yes, it’s not bad, I suppose,” admitted an obviously stunned Stung , “but then again anyone with Paintbox could have done a better job.” Davey has refused to either confirm or deny the authenticity of the artwork, despite releasing it himself. Sources close to the star suggest he may be seeking to test public opinion before deciding on one design. “This is patent market research,” spat Scaramouche at surpised and disappointed reporters, “and now he’s got me doing one of those freaking MBTI thingos too. I’ve had enough! Yes, two slices of ham would be fine. No mustard. Thanks.” A more helpful and enlightening explanation for the album cover’s content was provided by Davey’s old pal Quito who is being kept on life support until euthanasia laws are passed in Australia allowing his brother, Moss, to turn him off: “The image is a collage of three of Davey’s great loves: pedestrian underpasses, crayons and stencil art. The top image is a photo of the pedestrian tunnel beneath De Graves St in Melbourne; the middle image comes from Davey’s early dabbling in graphic art (an obsession that would see him featured at several major country art exhibitions in Gippsland); and the bottom image was taken in Fitzroy, somewhere. Could I please have some more morphine? I am afraid all of this talking has left me feeling quite dizzy. Nurse! Nurse! I can’t feel my legs!” A spokesperson for the hospital later denounced journalists’ attempts to get the bedridden mosquito to talk. “How dare you interrogate a sick and demented insect! Out, all of you! Okay, the llama can stay. But wipe that raspberry jam off his face, for freak’s sake!”