Featuring unauthorised guitar licks from ELT, and a drum beat from a nifty little app called the Rapmaster that I’ve not been able to find again.
Strap yourself in and be prepared.
It doesn’t get much loopier than this.
G’day mates, Davey here again with just a few of my most recent thoughts, right off the top of my Akubra, about social networks, being cool and all that stuff. Because I know that some of you are just a little bit confused about what it all means. So, for your reading pleasure, I’m going to answer, as well as I can, that perennial question, as well as a few others. And while some of you may dismiss my musings as the demented rantings of a cocky with a few too many loose bits of gravel in the top paddock, that doesn’t mean that I’m the only one thinking these things. In fact, from what I can gather, pretty much everyone in Australia with an email account is now facing the ultimate choice: do I become a member of Facebook, and ‘re-connect’ with my long-lost pals, or do I stick with Myspace, and sign up KRudd or The Howard Government (THG) as my “friend”? Do I hear a “WTF”? You bet I do! Strewth.
Greetings, earthlings. LL Damnation here, with an update on the highly successful guerilla marketing campaign we are currently conducting for DNRC Records. You may not even realise that it’s happening, but that doesn’t mean it is. The idea stemmed from some research we did on the daveydreamnation.com portal and some highly-charged focus groups, which told us that people want more funny stuff on the site. That’s where I come in. I’m a virtual avatar of Davey’s design and Pixel Mouse’s execution. My job is to look like a complete and utter idiot. The results speak for themselves. Totally ridiculous. Marry me!
In a move eerily and uncannily similar to Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”-era wardrobe malfunction decision, Davey Dreamnation has gone imperial and re-invented himself as a member of the aristocracy in the dying days of the reign of Louis XIV. Speaking from the drawing room of his gigantic new manor house, Little Lord Damnation confirmed both his new look and the rumours that have been circulating around Tribesco for the past few days – that he is indeed back in the recording studio, having locked himself in there during a midnight excursion to his royal larder, where he found only a couple of sandwiches and one seriously bloated llama. Speaking from the other side of the gigantic oak-pannelled door separating him from the rest of the world, LL Damnation could be heard to mutter something about “seething” and “freaking Scaramouche” before wandering off to inspect the recording studio’s facilities, which are rumoured to be analog.
However, cynics are well known for their lack of a sense of humour. They need to get one fast. Or else, a Myspace page of their own. Sure, there’s people out there who ascribe way too much importance to Myspace (hello everyone) but for the most part, I think most people sign on just to send silly comments to each other and also to perve on otehr peoples’ comments. Then again there are the hardliners, including UK band Wire, whose Myspace page uncompromisingly declares:
Each of the many daily friend requests is in fact checked out because not everyone is who they say they are on MySpace. For that reason we are sorry but we cannot accept friend requests from private profiles. Wire is on MySpace because it is a public space, there is no reason why someone who wants to keep their identity private needs to connect to Wire in this way.
(emphasis mine)
I was initially nervous about submitting a friend request to such a hardcore principled band, not least because at the time my profile proudly wore its Chris de Burgh influence on its sleeve. Nevertheless, I was promptly signed up by Wire anyway, who obviously do not actually check every profile at all. I mean, how else do you end up with over 8000 friends. Just ask Howard Jones. Personally, I’m happy that I’m able to display 24 friends who are all real people.
I also like listening to music and trying to poach other peoples’ friends. That being said, I am aware that Sun Ra is dead, and that were he alive, he probably wouldn’t be into having his own Myspace page. I’m also aware that unlike Wire, most musicians don’t actually have anything to do with their Myspace page. But I ask you: how much does a musician have to do with their website, tour poster, CD packaging or whatever in the real world anyway?
Myspace: the Ultimately Me Space for Those Who I Might Not Want to Come Back to My Place.
Cue some spectacular photographic work from my sister Francesca, who obviously has no respect for me and clearly has too much time on her hands. I’ve been looking at these pics for the past few days and laughing so hard it’s giving me a belly ache. If I was Stung, I’d be seething right now. Seething.
Never one to rest on his laurels, Davey completely re-recorded the track to cassette and then uploaded the song to his personal computing empire, losing most of the original’s unique sounds and tuning in the process.
Forever destined to undersell his own lyrical genius, Dreamnation manages once again on this track to confound, move and alienate an entire generation, and all in three minutes and forty eight seconds.
Beat that!
In the tradition of everything barnestorming and brill, [dnrc] has reached a massive milestone, just one day after the completion of the EvilWealth Games: namely, its fiftieth release. In just over a year of operation, [dnrc], the record label set up and made famous by the hard-working, committed and just-a-little-bit-deluded maestro of the signature jarmy, Davey Dreamnation, has earnt a reputation for backing artists who have never been heard of, and then deleting their entire ouevre, to the chagrin of fans and the delight of rarity-obsessed collectors. Hence, releases by The Guide Ponies, The Cruns, Mead and (most recently) Super Grope, which could have garnered a massive listening audience, have instead been consigned to the dustbin marked “sad” and, on the other side, “deleted”. You may never hear these records out loud. However, you can be certain that the massive archiving effort that is the [dnrc] website will one day rival the one currently being set up by Snoogle and the Camp Davey Public Library. Impossibly seething, certainly deluded and caustically non-Romantic, Davey Dreamnation told reporters today that, had it not been for the so-called death of his close friend Stung (a fine Sting impersonator from New Zealand), and the emotional support provided by his muse, Scaramouche the llama, [dnrc] might never have even got off the ground. “That’s right,” the gifted flautist was quoted as saying, “just turn right at Swanston Street, cross the bridge and you’ll see the freaking fish on your left. Have a nice freaking day. Turkeys.”© 2019 davey dreamnation. All rights reserved.
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