Tag: Scaramouche (page 2 of 4)

Upping the ante with his characteristic wit and subversive humour, pop star and promising songwriter Scaramouche today denied rumours that he is changing his name to Sea Biscuit. As previously reported on Tribesco, rumours were swirling around the D/DN compound this week suggesting that Scaramouche was tiring of his own name and personality. “Let me just say that that is completely untrue,” spat the llama at journalists gathered outside the compound gates in the hopes of getting some form of comment on the debacle, “I love my name, myself and everything related to me. I may not be a gifted flautist, but I’m quite shocked that Stung has taken this opportunity to bad mouth me in such a public way. In any case, if I was going to change my name, it wouldn’t be to “Chris”, “Sea Biscuit” or any other ludicrous name. I would only ever change it to Clint. But I’m not going to do that. Period. You can call me Scaramouche, Mouchie or Scar, but nothing else. End of story.” When asked about progress on his so-called “debut” album, the llama was quick to scurry back inside his tailor-made cage. Not even the offer of a lamington could coax the reclusive animal out of hiding.

It seems that some things change, while others remain different. Rumours have begun to surface from Davey Dreamnation’s hi-tech Tribesco compound that his long-time companion, Esperanto translator and spokesllama, Scaramouche, is planning to change his name – to Sea Biscuit. “Well, you know what my position is on all of this,” seethed a suitably appalled Stung at a pre-arranged press conference this morning (Tribesco time), “I’m seething.” Angered that his press conference (where he was planning to promote his second album entitled Nothing Like the Stung) had been taken over by “idle gossip”, Stung then launched an attack on the animal for whom just last week he wrote two instrumentals. “I think that dumb animal has got it into his head that if he calls himself Sea Biscuit then he’ll get to be ridden by Toby Maguire. I suspect it’s the llama’s roundabout way of saying that he doesn’t appreciate me riding him around all day, which is fair enough. But frankly, who’d want to be taken for a ride by an actor like that? Yes I am seething, you can quote me on that. I’ll be meeting with Davey this afternoon to sort this bull carpet out once and for all. Either the llama goes, or I go.” Interested fans are invited to submit an alternative name for Scaramouche’s benefit below, in order to avoid such a calamity becoming reality.

I know that there’s a lot of trouble in this world, and a lot of people are under a great deal of stress, but sometimes I wonder why everyone has to be so tetchy with me all the time, especially during the festive season, which I love. I was receiving a tutorial in flute-playing from my good friend Stung last night, when all of a sudden he stormed out of the music room, shouting “You freaking llama, how am I supposed to teach you how to play the flute when I have to hold the damn thing and press the freaking buttons for you, while at the same time trying to get you to breathe out! I’ve had enough!” Now, certainly, Stung has a point, and my disability does weigh on my mind constantly. I mean, of course it’s hard for me to play the flute – I only have hooves to work with! For my mind, he could have said it a bit more nicely, that’s all. Is it too much to ask for people not to be mean to me? I wish you all a merry Christmas anyway: Stung, Pixel Mouse, Brad, Quito, Penny and, of course, my master and personal inspiration, Davey Dreamnation. Now, where did that Christmas hamper get to?