For some reason, yesterday I found myself on the appallingly boring website of the world’s most boring tennis player, Roger Federer. What drove me to tears was the constant stream of entries in Roger’s “guest book” extolling his “exciting” style of tennis and requesting a “meeting”, for example at the conclusion of the Halle tennis tournament (which Roger won in exceedingly boring fashion, naturlich). People, wake up: ROGER FEDERER IS BORING. I’m not just saying this because he beat Mark Goodrem last year. I’M SAYING IT BECAUSE HE IS SO FREAKING BORING. Basically tennis has never been the same since the invention of the double-handed backhand, and while RF certainly plays with the correct continental style, it’s his on-court manner (NB: Nike head scarves – please!) and excruciating post-match interviews that really cheese me off. It’s one thing to be a winner. It’s another thing to be a smart-arsed winner who thinks that just because he’s won, HE’S BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD BY DEFAULT, EVEN THE ONES WHO HAVE NEVER PLAYED TENNIS! Get over yourself, Roger. With a name like that, your days are numbered. Maybe you should consider going out with that other boring tennis “star”, Martine Hingis. BORING! I was tempted for a moment to leave an entry in his guest book to this effect, then decided against it, then decided against deciding against it again. Feel free to back me up – I’ve got the feeling I’m going to be flamed mercilessly by fans of this so-caleld genius. Did I mention the word “BORING”?