Clint Bo Dean

Clint Bo Dean, the world’s most private poet, possesses Australasia’s worst wig and proudly maintains that his influences include Enya, Stevie Nicks, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Chris de Burgh, Elton John, Arcadia, Cat Stevens, Noiseworks, Boom Crash Opera, Big Pig, Wa Wa Nee and Stryper. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Clint was born under the influence of narcotics in the Bahamas in 2004. Despite his penchant for interpretative dance, Clint has so far failed in his stated career aim of joining the Bolshoi Ballet. He spends most of his time penning ridiculously grandiose orchestral arrangements for two flugel horns and one triangle. Clint’s debut DNRC single, Private Poet, was judged a form of torture by the International Criminal Court and subsequently banned from use in Australasian jails. His breakthrough album, Never Go Ashtray, violated several international whaling protocols.

The iClint™

During a recent gruelling brainstorming session for the track listing on my debut album, I hit upon an incredible invention: the iClint™, a personal music system for the discerning music fan. Composed of a cassette player that doubles as a…

Never Go Ashtray

Today I began work on what will, I am sure, eventually come to be known as the greatest album I will ever record. Its prospective title is “Never Go Ashtray”, a quite clever pun on “Never Go Astray”, a mantra…

If rumours were true …

I’d have grown a beard by now. As it is, my bum fluff couldn’t polish a midget’s toenail. I’d be rolled in dough, baked for fourty minutes then served sliced, with an assortment of sauces and marinades. As it is,…