Seeing as I’ve been tagged by that talented flautist Richard Watts, I’d better get myself away from the synthesiser for a few moments and try to come up with something meaningful to share with my legionnaires of fans.
1) I was totally deaf for a year when I was four years old. I have spent the rest of my life terrified of going deaf again, because it would mean that I could no longer listen to music. Oh, and conversations and stuff.
2) One of the only sounds I could hear during that time was my own pulse and heartbeat. Since then I have always wanted to be a drummer but only if I am allowed to drum in heart time (not quite the same as hammer time but close).
3) I once kissed a girl who had braces and it was one of the most erotic experiences of my adolescence. I then decided I needed to get out more.
4) During my final year at school I listened to Enya’s magnificently barmy debut album Watermark non-stop. It was one of the few things that got me through that painful time. I was misunderstood, clearly, and continue to be.
5) I also taped myself reading Emily Dickinson and William Blake, and then went to sleep each night with my Walkman (pre iClint) turned up full bore. I gunned English.
6) Penguins are my favourite animals because they look after each other, and stand in a huge circle in the cold, taking turns being on the outside. Plus, the males sit on the egg while the mum goes out looking for food. Apparently. They are so cute that I think my second album will be a penguin opera.
7) My first album is going to be called Never Go Ashtray.
8) I like to wear womens’ clothing and have a penchant for make-up because my younger sisters often used me as a model for their experiments.
9) I find long lists hard to write because sometimes the strain on my writsts makes it hard to go back to the synthesiser, which is where I prefer to compose my music, most of the time.
10) Sometimes I wish I had an older brother and often seek the company of older males for this reason.
11) Most of all I wish I was able to rollerskate.
12) I can’t stand the sound of someone else chewing food. Bubblegum seems to be okay though.
13) I enjoy mead.
14) I like girls who have the librarian look. I can’t really explain it but it floors me every time. I do spend a lot of time in libraries. Perhaps too much time (see 3, above).
15) Some people think I’m crazy. I object.
16) I love how cats like to walk on top of doonas, even when there is someone under the doona, taking tiny steps that they think the person won’t notice. I also love Cats.
17) If I ever became a father, how could I continue to live as an adult in the outside world?
18) I hate Chucky.
19) Michael J Fox.
20) Only half of the above is actually true.