During a recent gruelling brainstorming session for the track listing on my debut album, I hit upon an incredible invention: the iClint™, a personal music system for the discerning music fan.
Composed of a cassette player that doubles as a mask to wear either to masquerade balls or to the opening night of any of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musicals, the iClint™ comes fully equipped with an authentic CBD wig, a microphone for extra interaction, a necklace, a pair of headphones courtesy of British Airways, a power source that doubles as a drink dispenser, two complimentary wristbands and an optional fake Pat Cash checkerboard headband as well.
I am currently negotiating the worldwide rights for this machine, which will only play my albums. I expect however that units should begin to hit the shelves sometime after the release of Never Go Ashtray, now scheduled for 2008.
By then, the hype over these so-called ‘digital music players’ should have calmed down and people will be ready to return to the good old days of fan loyalty. I mean, who wouldn’t be into wearing an iClint™ out to the theatre?
Please direct any inquiries either to myself or to Eyna, via her international web portal.
Also, please respect my copyright – I have slaved long and hard to produce this iClint™ prototype, which is naturally in full working order.
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you seriously crack me up.
Oh man, you are reaaaaaaally onto something here. I-Clint will change everything. This will put Jobs out of one. Put me done for say, ummm… 20,000 units. Just to test the waters. We don’t want to go nuts straight away. Why don’t we springboard from the Australasian market first? I hear Numan and Oldfield are keen to endorse, but I know you and Numan don’t really get along very well, not since that ‘stolen peroxide’ incident.