Category: Davey Dreamnation (page 20 of 31)

Davey Dreamnation has sold out and has thus been temporarily shut down. Davey wishes to thank all his fans for their continued support and understanding during this difficult time. He is reported to be hard at work on his new album, Recognition of Prior Learning and will return in the near future with a new website, an easy to type URL and a whole swag of new pals and songs. Until then, keep on trucking. And don’t worry, he’ll probably be back in a day or two anyway.

Davey Dreamnation’s demolition of the British music establishment continued with unabated fury this morning, after a series of awe-inspiring gigs marked by communal violence, extended encores and several arrests.

Speaking from the D-Team tour bus, spokesperson and security expert Scaramouche confirmed that all seven of Davey’s gigs today have been sold out, with police erecting cordons and picket lines around venues in Camden, Islington, Brixton, SoHo, Kings Cross, Paddington and London Bridge.

“Yes, that is correct,” mused the indomitable llama, “Davey has really got his hands full today. I don’t think he’ll even have time to wander around the bookstores in Charing Cross Road. I know he’ll be most disappointed by that. He’s really a bibliophile at heart.”
Sources further away from the world dominating artist suggest that he may return to the UK in the spring, just to finish the bastards off. With the English leg of the tour lasting a mere three days, fans are also justifiably disappointed, and several riots have been reported in areas such as Sloan Square, Euston, Piccadilly and the St Pancras railway station, where Davey was yesterday rumoured (falsely) to be conducting a press conference.

British fans may have no alternative but to make the ardous two hour journey to Berlin, where Davey has planned a series of tributes to his heroes – Bowie, Cave, Reed and Steffi Graf – to coincide with his visit. Spokespersons for the various personages are understood to be overwhelmed that Davey would take the time out to pay homage to them.

“As far as Steffi’s concerned, it should be the other way around,” her spokesperson revealed this morning, German time. “There remains, however, the slight hitch that is Davey’s scurrlious comments regarding Andre Agassi, and his ridiculous request for a coaching session. Clearly, Davey’s meeting with Steffi may have to be private and brief.”

Meanwhile, Cave, Bowie and Reed have all announced that they will be returning to Berlin for the Dreamnation gala, to be conducted at a venue yet to be announced.

Davey Dreamnation has taken a break from his hectic world tour to hold an impromptu press conference in Buffalo, New York, after hearing news of his breakthrough to the coveted #1 position on the mp3.com.au charts in both the lo-fi artist and album categories.

Sources close to the travelling sideshow artist confirmed this morning (NY state time) that Dreamnation has finally cracked the big game, all in accordance with his master plan, which still lacks a code-name.

“Sweet sister of hope!” cried his latest translator and interpreter, Chasey Cambers, “this is freaking A! All this time, I’ve been asking Davey if I’m really pretty enough to be his spokesperson, and now this. I feel so selfish. My record, now that I think about it, truly sucks in comparison to Islands In the Stream of Consciousness. What an idiot I am.”

Dreamnation and his entourage (including the recently resurrected Scaramouche, an embalmed Quito, a holographic Pixel Mouse and a cardboard cutout of the artist formerly known as Stung) have been greeted by something akin to pandemonium on each leg of his debut US tour, with local official forced to waive strict customs and immigration requirements just to get the superstar out of the airport and into the waiting D-Team buses.

“That’s right,” breathed Cambers at the press conference earlier this afternoon in Main Street Buffalo (in the city’s teeming theatre district), “it’s absolutely unbelievable. I mean, we weren’t even scheduled to play in Los Angeles but the sheer number of fans forced Davey to postpone his flight to New York and perform an electrifying acoustic session in the flight departure lounge. The locals were speechless. So was I.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen an audience lacking even the ability to clap after a performance.”

Meanwhile, despite the lack of press, Dreamnation’s “Straight Outta Dubbo” world tour juggernaut continues to steamroll right through the listening public’s conception of what constitutes ‘music’. Performing songs from his #1 ranked album and the slow burning Departures EP, Davey grows in confidence with each concert, even allowing rumours of a Rattle and Hum style documentary movie to pass through to the keeper without denial.

Sell-out shows in Times Square and the Staten Island Ferry Terminal in New York City earlier this week caused mini-riots amongst fans eager to catch a plectrum, a sidelong glance, anything the artist deemed to throw at them. In upstate New York, meanwhile, the atmosphere has been slightly less frenetic, with only 365,000 fans flocking to the downtown Buffalo Auditorium to hear Davey play.

Ticket sales on the remaining New York, London and German legs of the tour augur well for Davey’s plans to buy a miniature electric guitar with the proceeds of the tour. In an announcement sure to ignite political and cultural tensions in the far east, Davey has also added one Singapore date to his hectic schedule, forcing organisers of the Rumba festival to re-schedule one Melbourne concert and cancel a planned appearance with members of Bon Jovi and N’Sync.

“Davey wishes to apologise to all his beloved fans for being unable to communicate with them these past two weeks. He asks that aggrieved fans remember it is virtually impossible for him to step outside the D-Team lead bus, and due to numerous pash-threats, he has been banned from visiting Internet cafes until this time. In fact, I’m the only one who’s allowed anywhere near a computer on this tour,” admitted an obviously flustered but rosy-cheeked Scaramouche, before disappearing inside the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts.

As Davey’s fortunes on the mp3.com.au rankings took another battering, wild rumours that the self-obsessed superstar is set to embark on a world tour were confirmed this morning, Majorca time.

“I know that last sentence seems a bit out of order,” admitted Davey’s new spokesperson, Alex Lloyd, “but the fact is that Davey’s packed his bags, bought a ticket and is all set to rock the planet, Dreamnation style.”

While exact details of tour dates and venues are, as ever, sketchy, we can confirm that Davey will be playing the following cities in support of his incendiary new “Intake” EP:

Extra cities and venues will be announced in the coming weeks.

Despair gripped Camp Davey this afternoon (Majorca time) after it was learnt that the mp3.com.au chart rankings had mysteriously disappeared, just as Davey was on the verge of achieving the coveted #1 lo-fi artist spot.

The devastating news overshadowed the release yesterday of Davey’s incendiary Intake e.p. on the supposedly professional mp3.com.au site.

“This is just the latest in a series of ridiculous obstacles thrown in Davey’s path,” lamented his new spokesperson and public whipping boy, Ronald Keating.

“I personally saw the offending web page today, and where the chart rankings should have been, there’s just one word: ‘None’. I mean, I know it’s kind of ironic considering that I had a hit with “You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All”, but this is just ridiculous. That being said, I know Davey will bounce back from this.

“He’ll always be Number 1 in my heart, and I’m not just saying that because he’s paying me. I know for a fact that he’s planning a series of “hard listening” covers as we speak, in an obscure form of revenge against this so called Internet “service” provider.”
Mp3.com.au officials were unavailable for comment today despite (or perhaps due to) a series of flame messages emanating from the Camp Davey server.