Tragedy strikes as chart rankings disappear

Despair gripped Camp Davey this afternoon (Majorca time) after it was learnt that the chart rankings had mysteriously disappeared, just as Davey was on the verge of achieving the coveted #1 lo-fi artist spot.

The devastating news overshadowed the release yesterday of Davey’s incendiary Intake e.p. on the supposedly professional site.

“This is just the latest in a series of ridiculous obstacles thrown in Davey’s path,” lamented his new spokesperson and public whipping boy, Ronald Keating.

“I personally saw the offending web page today, and where the chart rankings should have been, there’s just one word: ‘None’. I mean, I know it’s kind of ironic considering that I had a hit with “You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All”, but this is just ridiculous. That being said, I know Davey will bounce back from this.

“He’ll always be Number 1 in my heart, and I’m not just saying that because he’s paying me. I know for a fact that he’s planning a series of “hard listening” covers as we speak, in an obscure form of revenge against this so called Internet “service” provider.” officials were unavailable for comment today despite (or perhaps due to) a series of flame messages emanating from the Camp Davey server.

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