victor, tho i never really associated you with the blooper
aesthetic, i happened to be cruising youtube recently &
i saw that someone had put together this compilation of
bloopers from the television series alias (or, to be more
specific, alias bloopers featuring you. there is a blooper
protocol, as you know, & it involves hashing your lines
(preferably more than once (plus, ideally, a lot of laughs
from the actors as well as the crew. in your case, victor,
the bloopers were what we refer to in the industry as ‘on
point’, meaning they fulfilled the criteria outlined above.
you see, i’ve watched many blooper reels, mostly on video
tape (or late-night television specials devoted to specific
programmes or actors. after a while, they tend to become
repetitive, don’t they? no doubt, given your experience as a
stage actor, you have your own views about blooper reels.
i note a strong perfectionist streak in your onscreen manner
& can’t imagine you’d ever be thrilled to have fluffed a line
but when I see you & sydney (alias jennifer garner aka babe
blowing minutes of valuable recording time, the thought of it
fills me with a simple, homespun joy. as one commenter noted:
‘oohh seeing him makes me forget everything!! great actor &
a great singer as well. hes soo hott!! i love you victor!! hehe.’
need i go on? perhaps. perhaps i should draw attention (as if
it were needed, to your magnificent pursed lips, from which
no lie or swear word has ever had a chance to issue. ‘soo hot’,
indeed! (‘i love him too! wish i had a boyfriend like him XD
sorry, i had to write this! :D’ (‘who cares if he’s gay?’ & i can’t
believe i wrote that (‘literally devastated’ (i.e. sydney’s gay dad.
but back to your pursed lips, victor. how the heck could you
let the bloopers sneak out like that? whenever I rewatch that
blooper reel (which i’ve added to my ‘favourites’ & ‘watch
later’ lists) i begin to doubt your professionalism as an actor.
that sounds harsh, no doubt, but your job (victor, is to keep
those lips of yours shut tight as a purse, so that no phrase or
object passes in or out (apart from food & drink, of course,
although that must needs happen off camera, in your trailer
or else the on-set canteen (did you ever go there, victor, join
the gaffers, grips and gophers at the bain marie, crack gags as
the catering staff wiped down tables? (somehow even the idea
of it sounds far-fetched. you’d be too busy being mesmerised
by jennifer’s bubbly antics, or else chatting with the director
in the hopes of slipping in one more tight-lipped rendition of
your daughter’s name during a tense ops-room scene (but then
they’re all tense when you’re on-camera, victor, which makes
your blooper reel even more alarming (as if to suggest there is
in fact no real father on which jack bristow’s character is based
as if sydney was born an orphan (that this greying canadian with
a background in musicals was not really her uptight but lovable
dad (that her cute glee at his occasional forgotten line could be
taken from, used against her (in some other show where there
are no blooper reels, only trailers for upcoming seasons. up next:
victor refuses to deny an alias reunion. comments disabled.
