Category: Davey Dreamnation (page 19 of 31)

In the clearest sign yet that he is planning on trading in his zoot suit for a mortar board, Davey Dreamnation today announced his intention to provide the Australian government with “top quality and highly useful security research”.

Unveiling the research as part of a broad-sweeping response to the Howard government’s recently-announced higher education research priorities, Mr. Dreamnation’s spokesperson signalled that his security research will involve an undisclosed number of penguins.

“That is correct,” Mr. Scaramouche replied in answer to at least one set of raised eyebrows outside the Camp Davey media centre this afternoon (Majorca time). “The penguins are to be fitted with hi-tech surveillance equipment and launched into the ocean, where their movements and conversations will be recorded and remixed. Mr Dreamnation then intends to release a CD version of these sounds, the profits from which will increase his overall financial security and, by extension, the security of the whole world.”

When asked whether there was any real point to the research, the llama was reported to have hidden inside a giant vat of cherry marmalade, refusing to surface until the assembled throng of reporters gave up and went home.

Despite a distinct lack of fanfare and barely the faintest whiff of media attention, Davey Dreamnation has determined to put his past behind him and as of today has moved his international web presence to a new home, under his own domain name.

“It’s obviously going to take people a while to get used to this,” admitted Davey’s long-term friend and crutch, Scaramouche, “but spare a thought for the geek who has to design all this from scratch. It ain’t easy, you know.”

Initial problems with the new Camp Davey server have meant also that he has been unable as of yet to install some more familiar and democratic features, including the Blogger console, the YACCS comments system and the ever-popular site counter.

“Rest assured, this site will grow over time, and will come to incorporate far more sophisticated elements than any of Davey’s fans would have thought possible barely two weeks ago,” the llama later added.

In late-breaking news, it was revealed today that Camp Davey is still in close-down mode, despite the festive season having long passed by.

Sources within the Camp could not be roused from a deep, post-prandial slumber this morning, leading to speculation that Christmas hampers distributed to friends and guests of the obscure pop genius may have been spiked with some form of sedative.

“We’re treating the poisoning threat very seriously,” confirmed Kiwi pop sensation Stung, after returning from Dunedin in the hopes of patching up his relationship with Pixel Mouse, which still appears to be on the rocks.

“Well, I’m seething, obviously,” Stung later added. “I’ve been told there’s a hamper inside the compound with my name on it, only that blasted llama has gone and eaten it, packaging and all. I hope the brat gets more than a slight case of food poisoning. Salmonella would be too kind a blow for such a greedy creature. Eyes bigger than stomach, indeed. Eyes bigger than brain is a more likely diagnosis.”

With the festive season fast approaching, boffins at the Camp Davey Information Technology hub have been working around the clock, in order to spruce things up a bit ahead of an expected influx of Christmas web traffic.

“That’s right,” confirmed Camp Davey IT Support Officer Quito via facsimile this afternoon, “I need three bananas and a cream bun for the llama before I reveal anything.”

Sources once removed by marriage from the troubled troubador suggest Quito may be delusional.

“In the sense of, like, he’s leaving all these little notes around the Camp saying what he’d like from each of us for Christmas? it’s just completely outrageous!

“Quito hasn’t done any work for over six months, I’ve had to buy a new synthesiser to replace the one he hocked at Cash Converters in order to buy a ham roll for that freaking llama, and now to top it all off he’s talking about this Christmas album, all up-beat Casio stuff, and wanting to borrow my synth again?

“Well I told that mosquito where he could buff his ram! Borrow my synth, indeed!” seethed Stung in an off-the-cuff demolition job at Tullamarine Airport today.

Never one to submit to public expectations, Davey Dreamnation has rumoured that he may re-release an edited version of his rise to fame, as documented in Davey Dreamnation v 1.01, just weeks after taking the website down.

Sources at a slight distance from the obviously megalomaniacal star suggest the re-release may be an attempt to woo back fans who protested at his apparent corporate sell-out.

“Yes, they would think that, wouldn’t they, hmm?” muttered a slightly cynical Pixel Mouse this afternoon, Camp Davey time, after making a dramatic re-appearance of her own outside the Camp Davey Billiards and Wine Tasting Area.

“Look, that’s none of your business. If Stung and myself are having marital problems, then you can go ahead and blame the drugs, or Brad. I don’t care. I hate New Zealand, and there’s no way in Bejesus I’m going back there, either. Desert rose, my arse.”

Ms Mouse later calmed down enough to inform reporters that the renovation of the Davey Dreamnation international website (version 1.02) continues apace.

“He’s trying to do something tricky with a typewriter, but I can’t be more specific than that. I must say the Wine Tasting Area is looking very promising indeed.”