Category: Tjugotvå (page 3 of 5)

one year ago today
i arrived in sweden
on a slow snow train
to winter’s nevermind
& to black mornings
deathly afternoons
& mile deep blizzards

people did not smile
at each other in town
& the pub was like
an extra from LOTR:
littered with snugs &
corner tables hiding
mysterious drunks

today, one year older,
i’m wearing pajamas
again, a woolen scarf
& thermal leggings –
the windows are open
only for an hour or so
just to let in some air

i don’t look at the faces
of the old people lining
up at the systembolaget
for cut-price alcohol
nor at the homeless
man who sleeps every
night in the railway stn

four seasons have now
attacked the old admiral’s
house with little success,
flinging ice, water & air
plus the occasional TV
aerial at us & hating us,
seemingly, at random

we taped shopping bags
over our windows last
summer just to get some
sleep; then autumn came
& went without the winds
& hail that everyone spoke
of with frozen inevitability

& last night it snowed,
finally, for the first time
in a year – but the snow
was just like dandruff
on the still-warm earth
& by this afternoon it
will be gone away again

i worry about the rabbits
who live somewhere in
the park near our house
& how they will survive
should it really snow …
& whether their warren
will freeze or close up

& come spring will they
be back out in the open
air, their little white tails
bobbing like in real life,
skipping over the path
as if we weren’t ever even
here, in sweden, at all?

when REM recruited you 
to be in "it's the end of the world ..."

did they stop to think 
what effect that might have had on you

stop to think about 
high school pressure or petty jealousy

the ostracisation
of so-called high achievers by dimwits

with no future or hope
& no sense of solidarity or generosity

dead-legs at assembly
the casual punch in the face at recess

& always with the names
a stream of names like bubbler water 

or vitamin-yellow piss 
aimed in your direction hourly, daily?

& yet i like the fact 
that you've now formed your own band

possibly a metal band
& probably sans a recording contract;

it's the ultimate FU:
to use the music as yr only comeback 

& drown their brains 
in pools of simple georgian feedback

1.
returning from the graveyard to rise a level
like william faulkner said i made it on a bevel

2.
we first met near a pixel in eversong woods  
jo, our avatars dealt out some serious blows!

3.
oh we fought for hours against the ironic orcs
my sinister strike & your magnificent stealth 

4. 
/whisper: i have been teleported to fairbreeze
/whisper: okay i'll wait here until you return

5. 
/clintolas dances with the undead anok'suten 
/clintolas dies as anok'suten calls for help

6. 
clintolas shouldn't be meeting anok'suten yet
clintolas has not levelled up sufficiently yet 

7. 
i run swiftly across the water when i'm dead 
when i'm alive it's 100% stealth mode for me

8. 
jou spik dansk? asks some suspect blood elf
/enemyfan whispers: let's meet somewhere else

9.
not enough energy! sit down & drink, refresh
/clintolas gnaws on a hunk of mouldy bread

10. 
cheerful blood elf spirit level nine is dead!
return to graveyard (six minute resurrection

when you could see it coming 
    coming at you like a giant 
giant ball of lead or something
    something heavy cold & dead

death contained a hint of fear
    fear faded & quickly passed 
passed to an even higher plane 
    planet heavy cold & gone;

going to some future island
    island where the lonely go 
go further & "find yr feelings"
    feelings heavy dead & grey

greying like a knitted jumper
    jumper of some football player
player watch the football flying 
    diving cold dead gone & wet

wetter than a rain-cold kitten
    kitten washed up on a beach
beach bereft of calypso music  
    music heavy, wet & wild 

wilder than a lover's tongue
    tongue it warms you up like fire
fire clinging to yr dim youth
    young face ringing hot & loud

louder than the cries of years
    years that rippled like a pool
pool it only sought to fill you
   you're the feeling after fear