Seething since 2000*
Fire services in the Camp Davey region were still on high alert last night, after a freak accident within the superstar’s secluded compound.
While details, as ever, remain sketchy, it appears that the local fire brigade’s resources were stretched to their very limits when Davey accidentally set himself on fire.
“I think he was trying to set the whole world ablaze with his incendiary new brand of d-rap,” said his close friend and collaborator, Stung this morning (Majorca time).
“But apparently he missed his target and only managed to light up his own flares.
“They’re in tatters now. Even the Crime Scene Investigation guys won’t go near them. Someone tells me they may contain asbestos.”
The music world has been buzzing in recent weeks with rumours that Dreamnation has switched styles and is now paying homage to hip-hop, a claim the artist himself rigorously denies.
“I deny that rigorously,” Stung said. “I’m seething that you’d even think of asking such a bewildering question – seething.”