Tag: Stung (page 2 of 3)

Stung: “Dream of the Blue Pipe Cleaners”

DNRC018 | LP | 2003 | DELETED

What little hasn’t been said about this remarkable album is still best left unsaid.

Stung, New Zealand’s most talented flautist, pulls out all the corks on Dream of the Blue Pipe Cleaners, an epic statement of intent.

Unbelievably, this was his first album for DNRC Records and has sadly been relegated to the dustbin marked “Deleted”.

Nevertheless, it is worth looking back on this timid artist’s sporadic career, which sputtered to a halt somewhere between Australia and New Zealand, on a flight that was meant to be the start of his aborted “Nothing Like the Stung” Australasian tour, complete with come-back album, booked out shows in the Top End and a rumoured duet with Davey Dreamnation.

Tragically, a ticketing mix-up led to an altercation between the airline crew and Stung, whose seeing eye pony was refused a seat on the flight.

Flying blind, and in the absence of his good friend and collaborator, Stung decided to take his own life and was found in one of the aeroplane’s toilets with a Vicks inhaler jammed down his throat.

Thankfully, the cabin crew were able to revive him, but could not save his vocal cords, which were irrevocably damaged.

Stung has since earned his keep as a composer of soaring and uplifting theme songs for car commercials.

Listening to this moving and emotional album now, one hears echoes of Mead, Eyna and Scaramouche’s solo works.

Stung, we salute you.

Could this be the real Lady In Red?

In a sad attempt to outdo his fellow has-been rivals, Chris de Burgh has bought the alien that burst out of John Hurt’s chest in the 1979 terror-thriller, erm, Alien, according to about 30 000 news agencies.

Fellow crooner and sad-case HoJo is said to be quietly considering his career options today, after de Burgh bought the hideous prop at auction for a paltry €29 875 (AUD 45 000), a figure said to represent the crooner’s total actual worth.

Further, de Burgh, whose daughter Rosanna Davison somehow won the title of Miss World 2003, had the gall to state: “I know [Nik Kershaw] very well, and of course I will give him [a five finger salute,] being [a] mother [procreator].”

Strangely, no mention of this absurd series of events is made on the appallingly designed but nevertheless official Chris de Burgh website.

Meanwhile pop hand-throb Stung is, understandably, seething. Seething.

Stung denies “swinging” rumours

In a sign that everything is returning to normal in the world, gifted flautist Stung has denied any involvement in group sex activities of any kind. “That’s just despicable,” spluttered Scaramouche today (Tribesco time) after being told of the allegations against his friend, producer and ghostwriter. “Stung has never ever even been invited to a swingers club. I’m not sure who’d have him.” The llama’s comments come on the eve of a major announcement from Davey Dreamnation, who has been keeping a relatively profile ever since the debacle that should have been his “Maple Lanes DP” EP. Sources closer to the now struggling artist admit that Davey’s failure to master the art of FTP has set back his career several seconds. “I think he’s planning a new album,” Scaramouche later admitted, “but I just can’t see how he’s going to top Islands In the Stream of Consciousness.”

Internet photos of Scaramouche and Pixel Mouse “storm in a teapcup” says brave-faced Stung

For the second time this week, Wellington was rocked today by a publicity earthquake as news surfaced of compromising photos featuring Davey Dreamnation’s pet llama Scaramouche and the supposed wife of Kiwi pop icon Stung.

According to Auckland-based Internet news site www.suxshooterz.co.nz, the photos, showing Scaramouche and Mouse in the most compromising of positions (including one technically impossible position known as the Photoshop clipper), surfaced only hours after Mouse and Stung returned from their honeymoon in Sao Paolo.

“Well this is just absolute nonsense,” Stung fumed today at reporters gathered outside his Rotorua studio, “so just bugger off, I’ve got an album to record.”

Meanwhile, off the coast of Majorca, Davey Dreamnation laughed at paparazzi circling his fifty foot schooner.

“Ha ha ha! What a complete fool! That Stung is really behind the eight ball. Serves him right for shafting me so severely with that “duets” fraud. All I can say is, he’d better watch his back. There’ll be a few more of these stunts over the next little while, I think you’ll find. Welcome to the information age, Stung.”

It’s official: Pixel Mouse & Stung tie the knot at “secret” Eden Park stadium gig/ceremony

After a brief but notoriously well-documented courtship, Pixel Mouse and Stung (Davey Dreamnation’s former employee and best mate, respectively) have defied public outrage by getting married at a “secret” concert organised for a couple of thousand “friends” at Eden Park, Auckland.

Speaking from their secluded hideaway in Sao Paulo (one of the largest cities in the world), Stung today confirmed that marriage vows have been exchanged and that they are truly in love.

“This is the best – not even the Police break-up comes close to this for me. Imagine being in the same room as Dave Dobbyn and then multiply it by sex – aha, I mean, sux. Then you’ll be getting kind of close to how I felt yesterday – well, today feels a thousand times better. We’re truly, medly, deeply in love. Geez, I don’t know what to say.”

When asked to respond to claims that Pixel Mouse’s recording career is a complete sham, Stung would neither confirm nor deny, claiming that “she’s just got writer’s block at the moment.”

The pair ignited tabloid speculation recently by cavorting semi-nude in a Wellington cathedral, before really putting things beyond doubt by engaging in multiple acts of public indecency at a benefit concert for monkeys formerly owned by Michael Jackson.

“It’s a disgrace,” said Dreamnation’s official spokesperson, Scaramouche, in a prepared statement this morning. “Davey is seething – I repeat, seething. He was just getting ready for the launch of his and Stung’s duets album, and had even booked in for a couple of weeks at a Swiss solarium. I can’t emphasise enough the disappointment and anger Davey is experiencing right now. And the fact that Pixel Mouse is a completely imaginary person only adds insult to injury. It’s back to the drawing board, I’m afraid. All bets are off. As far as Davey Dreamnation is concerned, Stung does not exist either. He’s just a tosser from Dunedin with more hot air than Rotorua. That’s all for now.”