Seething since 2000*
After a brief but notoriously well-documented courtship, Pixel Mouse and Stung (Davey Dreamnation’s former employee and best mate, respectively) have defied public outrage by getting married at a “secret” concert organised for a couple of thousand “friends” at Eden Park, Auckland.
Speaking from their secluded hideaway in Sao Paulo (one of the largest cities in the world), Stung today confirmed that marriage vows have been exchanged and that they are truly in love.
“This is the best – not even the Police break-up comes close to this for me. Imagine being in the same room as Dave Dobbyn and then multiply it by sex – aha, I mean, sux. Then you’ll be getting kind of close to how I felt yesterday – well, today feels a thousand times better. We’re truly, medly, deeply in love. Geez, I don’t know what to say.”
When asked to respond to claims that Pixel Mouse’s recording career is a complete sham, Stung would neither confirm nor deny, claiming that “she’s just got writer’s block at the moment.”
The pair ignited tabloid speculation recently by cavorting semi-nude in a Wellington cathedral, before really putting things beyond doubt by engaging in multiple acts of public indecency at a benefit concert for monkeys formerly owned by Michael Jackson.
“It’s a disgrace,” said Dreamnation’s official spokesperson, Scaramouche, in a prepared statement this morning. “Davey is seething – I repeat, seething. He was just getting ready for the launch of his and Stung’s duets album, and had even booked in for a couple of weeks at a Swiss solarium. I can’t emphasise enough the disappointment and anger Davey is experiencing right now. And the fact that Pixel Mouse is a completely imaginary person only adds insult to injury. It’s back to the drawing board, I’m afraid. All bets are off. As far as Davey Dreamnation is concerned, Stung does not exist either. He’s just a tosser from Dunedin with more hot air than Rotorua. That’s all for now.”