Stung denies “swinging” rumours

In a sign that everything is returning to normal in the world, gifted flautist Stung has denied any involvement in group sex activities of any kind. “That’s just despicable,” spluttered Scaramouche today (Tribesco time) after being told of the allegations against his friend, producer and ghostwriter. “Stung has never ever even been invited to a swingers club. I’m not sure who’d have him.” The llama’s comments come on the eve of a major announcement from Davey Dreamnation, who has been keeping a relatively profile ever since the debacle that should have been his “Maple Lanes DP” EP. Sources closer to the now struggling artist admit that Davey’s failure to master the art of FTP has set back his career several seconds. “I think he’s planning a new album,” Scaramouche later admitted, “but I just can’t see how he’s going to top Islands In the Stream of Consciousness.”

Express yourself