Category: Clint Bo Dean

Clint Bo Dean, the world’s most private poet, possesses Australasia’s worst wig and proudly maintains that his influences include Enya, Stevie Nicks, Andrew Lloyd Webber, Chris de Burgh, Elton John, Arcadia, Cat Stevens, Noiseworks, Boom Crash Opera, Big Pig, Wa Wa Nee and Stryper. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Clint was born under the influence of narcotics in the Bahamas in 2004. Despite his penchant for interpretative dance, Clint has so far failed in his stated career aim of joining the Bolshoi Ballet. He spends most of his time penning ridiculously grandiose orchestral arrangements for two flugel horns and one triangle. Clint’s debut DNRC single, Private Poet, was judged a form of torture by the International Criminal Court and subsequently banned from use in Australasian jails. His breakthrough album, Never Go Ashtray, violated several international whaling protocols.

  • Here’s a picture of me and the gang – during rehearsals for Cats. Enjoy.

  • DNRC073 | EP | 2010

  • DNRC069 | LP | 2010

  • Josi!

    Josi! You are luscious! I watch you every week on Chartbusting Eighties just because you are so luscious. You make me want to slur my words and say eighdies. I feel fat in my Tears For Fears outfits, especially this gigantic panda jumper but I don’t care because I want to shout, pout and let…

  • As I look back on my extraordinary career, I sometimes wonder if it’s all been in vain. I mean, I’m not one to blow my own trumpet but if I could, I’d certainly be blowing it every day. It seems, however, that no one else feels confident enough in themselves to ask if they could…

  • The fingerprints of Clint Bo Dean are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene. There are more than two hundred different kinds of Clint Bo Dean. Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and Clint Bo Dean has 7. While performing her duties as…

  • Seeing as I’ve been tagged by that talented flautist Richard Watts, I’d better get myself away from the synthesiser for a few moments and try to come up with something meaningful to share with my legionnaires of fans. 1) I was totally deaf for a year when I was four years old. I have spent…

  • I am proud to say that Stevie Nicks has long been an influence on my recordings, hairstyles and genetic make-up. I was immensely happy when she finally left those bogans in Fleetwood Mac and embarked on her simply astonishing (not to mention moving) solo career. I was, however, gutted to learn that I will miss…

  • During a recent gruelling brainstorming session for the track listing on my debut album, I hit upon an incredible invention: the iClint™, a personal music system for the discerning music fan. Composed of a cassette player that doubles as a mask to wear either to masquerade balls or to the opening night of any of…

  • It’s about time someone spoke up about the appalling way in which CATS fans behave sometimes. I found the following advice on the wonderful Cats Musical website and I urge ALL fans of CATS to HEED it. Because of the popularity of the video and so many new theatre fans that Cats attracts, a gentle…

  • Today I began work on what will, I am sure, eventually come to be known as the greatest album I will ever record. Its prospective title is “Never Go Ashtray”, a quite clever pun on “Never Go Astray”, a mantra I repeat to my hair in the mirror each morning. The album is in fact…

  • I’d have grown a beard by now. As it is, my bum fluff couldn’t polish a midget’s toenail. I’d be rolled in dough, baked for fourty minutes then served sliced, with an assortment of sauces and marinades. As it is, I’ve got a migraine and my catarrh gives even some record producers curry. I’d be…

  • Clint Bo Dean and Enya de Burgh snuggled in the back of the cab on the way back out to the airport to hand in their badges and empty their lockers. Enron had been emphatic: there was no place in the Air Poets for closet Dan Brown lovers. ìYou know, if weíre lucky, we might…

  • Sitting up now, Enya frowned at the complimentary issue of Stanzas on the bedside table, whose cover boasted: ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SONNETS! She turned and gazed at the other bunk across the room. The man staring back at her looked tousled and weary, though still pretty attractive. îYou need a vacation, Clint.î…