Seething since 2000*
Hollywood agent: Hi David, I got your number through LinkedIn, I hope you don’t mind me calling you at this hour.
Me: Not at all, how can I help you?
Hollywood agent: Well, I’ve got a possible role for you.
Hollywood agent: Yes, in a movie.
Me: A movie, you say?
Hollywood agent: Yes, a Hollywood movie, to be precise.
Me: I’m listening.
Hollywood agent: Oh, that’s great. Now, I can tell from your LinkedIn profile that you’ve been waiting for this kind of role for a loooong time.
Me: That’s putting it mildly.
Hollywood agent: And I know you’ll be totally excited by this one.
Me: Sounds great so far. Please, keep going. Don’t let me interrupt.
Hollywood agent: Well, it’s a buddy movie, and you’ll be playing alongside Jack Black, who’s—
Me: Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.