This is one of my all-time favourite poems, mostly because it’s just so daft. I think I wrote it in the late 1990s. It has a real ‘I don’t give a fuck’ feel about it. I remember reading it at ‘Chapel off Chapel’ at some point, right before the release of The Happy Farang. Good times. Great times.
well you've got birds & then you've got birds
haven't you? take your wedge-tailed eagle
for example—what a bird you've got there!
whereas your common blue budgie—well he's
not so much a bird as a parrot is he compared
with your ibis your swan your albatross i mean
your budgie just doesn't cut the mustard does he
that's why you've got to keep him in a cage coz
he wouldn't last five minutes in the wild what
with all your other birds doing the rounds i mean
your currawong your rosella your seagull your
bilby yes mate even your marsupial's more
bird than your budgie another prime e.g. being
your koala—now he'd instil fear in your bravest
budgie—what a bloody mismatch eh? what a bird
is your koala—a bird's bird if ever i saw one!
what a beautiful bloody bird! what a bird!