Seething since 2000*
i hear lady vader's footsteps clang on the stainless steel gangway; i look busy attending to my knobs & flashing buttons but the dark side is so strong in this one that i am forced to switch on an emergency power generator - red lights bleed across my console & i swivel in my chrome-plated bauhaus / ikea captain's chair to face her wrath should it ever come there is another death star i explain it contains no flaws unlike its predecessors into whose plans lord vader for some reason saw fit to introduce design elements that would make a first year engineer blanch; perhaps he knew even then something of his fate - or else at central casting he overheard a script development meeting ... were those two hideously greige orbs a kind of metaphor for his own body's penetration fantasy a slight shudder as the x-wing entered the duct? how else to explain the ridiculous ease with which those rebels identified our killing machines' weakness - other than by referring to that space (in vader)? my lady i digress - & our plans progress would you care to inspect? with a slight limp she follows me down to the docking bay where our transport awaits - after you i murmur giving way so as to watch as her plastic skirts sashay hinting at the power of that incredibly spherical argh-!