Sources within the Camp could not be roused from a deep, post-prandial slumber this morning, leading to speculation that Christmas hampers distributed to friends and guests of the obscure pop genius may have been spiked with some form of sedative.
“We’re treating the poisoning threat very seriously,” confirmed Kiwi pop sensation Stung, after returning from Dunedin in the hopes of patching up his relationship with Pixel Mouse, which still appears to be on the rocks.
“Well, I’m seething, obviously,” Stung later added. “I’ve been told there’s a hamper inside the compound with my name on it, only that blasted llama has gone and eaten it, packaging and all. I hope the brat gets more than a slight case of food poisoning. Salmonella would be too kind a blow for such a greedy creature. Eyes bigger than stomach, indeed. Eyes bigger than brain is a more likely diagnosis.”