In the lush surrounds of a bitumen paved tennis court, Davey’s interpreter this morning led journalists through an impromptu acapella version of hot soup girl, the song that has already landed Davey in hot water (with both surviving members of Led Zeppelin taking him to court for hairstyle infringements) and serious trouble (his use of the words “mechanically separated chicken” becoming the source of a heated exchange of obiter dicta in the High Court of Australia, in the matter of Da Levelle vs KFC).
The song, a barely-disguised tribute to Davey’s musical heroes, including Ben Lee, the Anuses and Chumbawumba, has entered the charts at the lowest possible position, that is, the bottom.
“In a way, it’s fitting,” Davey’s interpreter said in off-the-cuff comments at the net of the tennis court (which Davey later claimed to be “too low”, after checking using a standard 1970s-sized Jimmy Connors racquet), “I mean, he never expected anything, so to come in last, well, it’s a nice surprise. I guess tomorrow’s chart details will be the real clincher, because if he’s still at the bottom, Davey will be right royally pissed off, of that I’ve no doubt.”
When asked what Davey D.’s reaction might be to being taken off the charts altogether, the interpreter refused to be drawn. “I’ll be back in a minute,” he stuttered, before running off to catch a taxi.
“Tullamarine thanks, driver,” he was heard to say, as the taxi drove away.