In a week fast becoming known for its unexpected news stories, Stung, New Zealand’s answer to Sting, has announced Davey Dreamnation as number one support act for his upcoming tour of Australasia.
Under the moniker of Stung’s “Nothing Like the Stung” Tour, Davey will play a variety of outdoor venues around Australia, in a set of dates reminiscent of his recently announced top end tour.
“Yeah, Stung is strapping it on a bit, I’ll give you that,” admitted Davey today through an interpreter, “but you’ve got to give it to the guy – he’s just like Sting!”
In other news the artist formerly known as Sting, who now goes under the slightly less alluring moniker of “Gordon”, was slightly bemused by Stung’s announcement. “I thought I kicked the shit out of that prick last year, the first time he tried to pass himself off as me. This whole “Nothing Like the Stung” bull carpet has me seething, i repeat: SEETHING. I can’t believe Davey would get caught up in this.”
Stung, however, laughs off Gordon’s threats. “Yeah, and he can ride my pony too.”
Meanwhile, when questioned by reporters about the exact nature of his relationship with Stung, Davey Dreamnation (again, through his interpreter) immediately booked a flight to Canadia, asserting that he would do whatever he damn well pleased, and that we could “all f*** off, The Screaming Jets included,” the spokesperson translated.
Former Spirit Levels bandmates could not be contacted today, and are rumoured to be in the recording studio, polishing up a drum and bass version of their first single, “Wood Chipmunk”.