The entire Snowy River region was placed on high alert this morning, after it was revealed that Davey Dreamnation’s pet llama Scaramouche was abducted overnight in a planned animal liberation action.
Speaking on a cell phone from Maui (where the entertainer has been advised he is safe from further attempts upon his life), Dreamnation spoke briefly about last night’s brutal and pre-meditated ordeal:
“It was brief. It was brutal. It was pre-meditated. I was pinned to the floor by one masked activist, while several more stormed Scaramouche’s stables, overcoming seven journalists [there as part of an apparent all night poker session – ed’s note] before lassooing and carting off my poor friend in a most vicious manner.
“I’m sorry, but I really don’t think there’s anything more I can say.”
No apparent motive for the raid and abduction has been identified. Any witnesses or residents of the Snowy River region with information regarding last night’s events are strongly encouraged to come forward.
All leads will be treated confidently.