Davey Dreamnation installs new democratic processes – “i’m listening,” says now-solo superstar

In response to yesterday’s shock announcement by Pixel Mouse that she has left the employ of Davey Dreamnation, the superstar has hit back by installing a new comments system on his international website.

“There’s nothing malicious about it,” the artist claimed yesterday in an unsigned e-mail, “but the fact is that it was Dixie – I mean, Pixie, Pixel, whatever the freak her name was – it was Dexy who installed that other freaking “message board” hoax – the one that never worked!

“God is it good to be in charge of things around here again. There’s going to be changes – big ones! Mark my words, you haven’t seen anything remotely resembling excitement yet!” the rock icon promised, before being bundled into a waiting taxi and taken to Tullamarine International Airport for “undisclosed artistic purposes”.