Scaramouche found alive and well in a cave in the Goulburn Valley

In a possible sign that megalomaniac musical artiste Davey Dreamnation is set to rise from his post-DNRC slumber, news agencies are today reporting that the chanteuse’s long-time collaborator and manager, the incorrigible Scaramouche, has been found alive and well in a cave in the Goulburn Valley, despite rumours that he had suffered a fatal quiche lorraine overdose somewhere.

Back in 2030, the llama’s ‘swansong’ album (also entitled Quiche Lorraine) failed to chart, even in Majorca, where fans of Scaramouche number in the high tens.

Despite this apparent lack of interest in said llama’s soaring and angelic melodies (witness “Scaramouche’s Theme”, a pant-ripping, adrenaline-soaked anthem if ever you’ve heard one), international web-portal I Ate a Bee reported late last night (Majorca time) that Scaramouche is indeed ‘back on the radar’, and has now discovered a new way to communicate with the world, having been previously restricted to Esperanto.

The llama’s first message, delivered to journalists gathered at the Camp Davey compound, though slightly shocking, signals that he has now gotten over his life-threatening quiche lorraine addiction, and has reverted to one of his previous predilections:

Gimme a fucking neenish tart

While unavailable for comment, Davey Dreamnation is reported to be preparing an official statement, after watching Scaramouche’s rescue on closed-circuit television from within the comfortable environs of his Camp Davey bunker.


  1. was at the local bakery in downtown castlemaine with the youngest and she spotted the neenishes and pointed them out to me “what’s that, dad?” “that’s a neenish tart, sweetie.” A moment to treasure.

    • Beautiful! Guess she didn’t want to eat one, though? They do tend to look better than they taste.

  2. My aunt margaret makes the best neenishes out there. with real cream, not the mock shite (though i am a sucker for mock cream…). And they’re wee – about the size of a 20c piece so you can put more than one in your mouth at once.

    • Bloody hell, that’s one tiny neenish tart, Adam. I reckon I could probably scoff about six of those at a time. You say they’re about the size of a twenty center – but I’m assuming they have a bit more depth to them? In any case, love the use of real cream, though I am a sucker for mock also.

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